Temptation Waits
by Vegeta Goddess
Summary: Vegeta accidentally blasts off in a broken capsule corp. ship while Bulma is still trapped on board. Not only is the navigation system broken but Vegeta is going into saiyan mating season! One bed, one shower and one flirtatious saiyan!
1. Blast Off!

**Chapter 1**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own DBZ…I don't own a monkey either…**

**I got the idea for this fic a while ago while I was still working on Project 109, I wanted to write a comedy fic but I didn't want to stray too far from the lemon category since that's what I'm good at writing, so we have here my first romantic comedy and I promise you all that I'm going to make this my best story yet! The funny parts don't really happen until Vegeta goes into heat and gets flirtatious though! Thanks and please remember to review!**

**A special thanks to Lady Daemon for helping me to come up with the idea behind this!**

WARNING: _This fanfic contains lemon content, OOC-ness for Vegeta and Bulma and completely unrealistic and obviously fabricated humour that I have twisted for my own personal amusement. Have fun! Oh, and as always please remember that I am Australian and therefore I spell things differently to you Americans!_

* * *

"Damn it!" Bulma brought her finger to her mouth and sucked at the tiny cut, her blue eyes glaring icily at the offending bit of wire that had sliced open her finger. "That's it! You're going down Mr. Wire." She raised the wire snipper and snipped off an inch of the long copped wire, watching with malicious eyes as the miniscule piece of wire fell to the floor and was crunched by her boot.

"Well, you sure showed him." The mocking voice came from behind her unexpectedly and Bulma resisted the urge to turn and glare at Vegeta who was lounging against the doorframe. "I know I'm scared." She could feel his eyes watching her as she returned to her work with dignity.

Bulma successfully ignored his presence as she returned to putting in some of the crucial wiring for the navigation system of the space capsule. _How did he sneak aboard? I'll have to remember to lock the door next time…red-to-red…orange-to-orange…blue-to-white…NO…Blue-to-blue…white-to-white…green-to…_

Bulma paused as she stared at the four remaining wires that appeared, to her eyes at least, to be all of the same colour. This wasn't good… "Oh-oh…" Bulma intoned, looking sheepish.

"What is it now woman?" She felt, rather then saw Vegeta saunter up behind her. He lent over her and the heat of his aura almost burnt against hers, Bulma shifted away from him and wrinkled her nose.

"I can't tell which of these wires go to which, can you tell?" She shifted over slightly again so that Vegeta could see… not prepared when Vegeta moved next to her, almost bumping her out of the way.

"Err…that one goes to…that one." Vegeta pointed at the wire in her fingers and randomly at another wire.

"Are you sure?" She squinted at the wires then looked suspiciously at Vegeta. He looked at her blandly so with a shrug she wired them together. "I guess you can see better then me, but I hope you're right though because if this isn't the correct wiring you're going to have absolutely no control over your navigation system." She wired the remaining two wires together and took a step back to admire her handiwork.

"Of course I'm sure woman, now how long till I can leave?" Vegeta snapped at her as he moved away, annoyed at Bulma's condescending tone. "I want to leave this God forsaken mud ball as soon as possible."

Bulma tossed her hair and shrugged. "I don't know how long Vegeta…maybe you can leave tomorrow morning; maybe you'll have to wait a week." She lowered her voice and muttered under her breath. "As soon as possible if _I_ have anything to do with it."

"A _week_?" Vegeta chose to ignore her last comment and grumbled as he stomped out, muttering about the insolence and stupidity of human females. The door to the space pod closed behind him with a bang and Bulma crossed her arms with a huff.

"Stupid saiyan." She ground her teeth and stared at the hundreds of tiny little circuit boards and delicate wires that she'd already spent two weeks replacing. This ship was like her baby now, and she didn't want to give it up to anybody, especially not to Vegeta. Of course it wasn't like she had much choice – it was ether make him a ship or put up with his endless whining. "Damn!" Bulma murmured as she realised she didn't have the correct tools to finish fixing the console, with a shrug she tossed her pliers aside and decided that the console could wait before she completed it. It seemed like far too much work to walk all the way to the house for a few tools.

Bulma replaced the top of the console and packed up her tools, carefully placing them to the side of the room and out of the way of Vegeta who had 'accidentally' stepped on her tools many a time when she had left them lying carelessly around. Then with a yawns she stood up and stretched; _bed time_, she decided, _sleep was good_…Bulma took a step towards the door, then let out a high pitched squeak as her foot hit the inch of wire she had snipped off before and her ankle twisted sideways.

Bulma lurched sideways, her head hitting the corner of the console and knocking her out cold. With a small moan Bulma fell to the ground and slid across the polished floor, her body coming to rest in a crumpled heap beside her toolbox.

* * *

Vegeta strode out the door of Capsule Corp towards _his_ space ship that the annoying woman had been working on. He paused at the door but heard no noise from inside it. Shrugging he strode the rest of the way in; if the woman wasn't here then she was most likely inside sleeping. The saiyan prince paused by the console she had been replacing yesterday; it looked like it was finished now. He glanced about the room but saw nothing other then the woman's toolbox and a pile of rags on the floor.

Maybe the woman was finished and he could leave…

His obsidian eyes slid back to the console, or rather they slid back to the large green button that rested in the middle of the console. Vegeta had a secret; he was a natural born button pusher! He looked around the room again, and then once again his eyes returned to look at the green button.

It was big.

It was green.

It was a button.

His gloved hand hovered over the button as he deliberated his dilemma. On one hand he had a button he could push, on the other the console might not be fixed yet. Vegeta bit his lip and tried to fight it as his hand began to descend to the button. Closer and closer…

"Huh? What the…? What happened? Where…? Vegeta? No!" What Vegeta had though was a pile of rags sat up just as Vegeta pushed the big green button. A roaring sound filled the space ship as the atmospheric thrusters engaged and the space ship blasted off. Both Bulma and Vegeta scrambled for the single chair in the middle of the room.

Vegeta got their first and strapped himself in.

"You bastard! Get out of that chair!" Bulma shrieked and tried unsuccessfully to move the strapped in saiyan Prince.

"Are you mad woman? I'm not moving!" Vegeta grabbed the woman's wrist and tried unsuccessfully to pry her off him. "Go find another chair to strap into!"

"This is the only chair you…you…you chair thieving thief!" Bulma groaned and sank to her knees as the ship blasted higher and the G force began to affect her.

"Damn it, woman!" Vegeta huffed, easily reaching down and pulling Bulma securely into his arms despite the high gravity. Bulma only mumbled something incoherent, but _very_ nasty sounding, into his chest as she held on tightly.

Very slowly the ship fought free of the atmosphere and gravity lessened until they were in zero gravity. Vegeta let go of Bulma and she pushed away from him with an indignant look and a; "bastard!"

"Oh, come on woman, admit it, you loved it…" Vegeta looked horrified at what he had said and covered his mouth with his hands, hoping and praying the woman hadn't heard him.

"What did you just say?" Bulma tried to turn around but instead accidentally sent herself careening into a wall. "Ooof! Computer engage normal gravity!"

"Woman I wouldn't…" Vegeta tried to say more when the computer interrupted him.

**"Gravity Engaged."**

Bulma squealed as she fell to the floor with a thump. "Ow! That hurt."

"I did try to warn you." Vegeta unstrapped himself and stood up. "Now why was it that you looked so horrified when we blasted off?"

"Because I haven't fixed the navigation system yet you idiot!" She pulled herself up off the floor and glared at Vegeta. "I knocked myself out last night before I could return to the house to get the right tools."

"So fix it now." Vegeta shrugged.

"You're not listening to me!" Bulma glared at him as though he was an idiot. "I said I knocked myself out before I could get the right tools, in other words Mr. High 'N' Mighty Saiyan Prince, we're totally screwed."

Vegeta's mouth dropped open. "Are you trying to tell me woman that we have no control over where we're going and that we can't fix the problem?"

Bulma turned away and didn't bother to dignify that with an answer. "I'm going to go lie down and try to think of some way I can fix the consol. I would suggest that you stay away from me."

"Or what?" Vegeta's eyes flashed and Bulma glared right back.

"Or this…" She took a deep breath and let out the loudest, shrillest scream she could muster.

Vegeta shrieked in return and dropped to the floor holding his ears. "Aaaaaah! My ears! My ears!" He groaned as his sensitive ear drums threatened to burst.

Bulma stopped screaming and nodded to herself, that'd show him to oppose the might of the beautiful brainy Bulma!

* * *

"Bulma!" Vegeta yelled as he rapped on the door and entered the room, ignoring Bulma's mutters for him to keep away. "We have another problem."

"What now, Vegeta?" She raised her head and tried to glare at him but couldn't seem to muster enough hatred to do it; depression had sapped all her energy. She knew she wasn't going to be able to fix that console, she was doomed to be stuck in a ship with Vegeta for all eternity…or until they flew into a sun and died.

Both thoughts were equally depressing.

"I'm going into…mamain mayaing sasasn." Vegeta mumbled the last few words so incoherently that Bulma wasn't able to make any of it out.

"Huh? You're going into what? Denial? Trust me Vegeta we're on the brink of Hell, nothing can possibly make this situation _any _worse then it is."

"Believe me woman," Vegeta glared at her coldly. "This is going to make it worse."

"Fine Vegeta, what's wrong?" Bulma rolled her eyes, sure that the situation was as bad as it could be.

"I'm going into…" He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, _God this is so embarrassing!_ "Saiyan Mating Season."

Bulma stared at him; horrified. "There is no God."


	2. Barney and Friends!

Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: I don't own DBZ…I don't own a monkey either…

**A/N – As some people have noted, Monty Python has had a large impact on my humour. British humour, can it get any funnier?**

* * *

"Okay, let's be calm and logical about this." Bulma took a deep breath. "You're going into saiyan mating season?"

"Yes." Vegeta shifted his weight in his chair uncomfortably and averted his eyes.

"And that means…?" She trailed off and waited for an answer.

"That means woman that I am going into…well…heat." Bulma gave him a blank look and Vegeta sighed. "It means I need to mate, woman! To have sex!" Vegeta stared at the far wall, then at the floor; anywhere but at the woman.

"Oooooh!" Bulma exclaimed. "You mean like a cat?" Her eyes widened. "That _isn't_ good is it?"

Vegeta restrained from answering that with physical violence. "You're doing this purposely aren't you? You knew what I meant!" He growled at her quietly.

Bulma widened her eyes and tried to look innocent. "Me? Never…well, okay I was, but I'll stop. So you need to have sex with someone? How long does it last for?" She lent closer to him. "A week? Two weeks?"

"Until I get laid." Vegeta edged away, uncomfortably aware of the effect the woman's proximity might have on him. "And since you're the only woman here, it means that sooner or later…"

Bulma leapt up from where she had been sitting and bolted to the other side of the room. "I am NOT going to sleep with you, Vegeta!"

"Woman…"

"No!"

"Woman…"

"I said no!"

"But I wasn't…"

"Don't you look at me like that!"

"Like what?" Vegeta looked confused, he wasn't aware that he had been looking at her in a certain way.

"You gave me this sleazy and…and…and come hither look!" Bulma backed towards the door.

"No I didn't!"

"You did it again! You did it again!" Bulma hysterically opened the door to the main chamber and bolted in. "You stay away from me until you learn how to not look suggestive!"

Vegeta stood up and followed her, an irritated look etched on his face. "All I was going to say was that sooner or later something will happen between us."

"Oh no it won't!" Bulma glared at him and kept a console between them.

"Look, I'm a man…"

"You're a saiyan!" She corrected. "You're a fricken alien!"

A bad boy look slipped over Vegeta's features. "That never stopped Kakarot and Chichi did it?" Vegeta covered his mouth with his hand again and looked embarrassed.

"See! See! You're just trying to get into my pants!" Bulma bolted past Vegeta back into the bedroom and locked the door behind her. "You can stay out there and amuse yourself because you are not getting in here buddy boy!"

Vegeta lent against her door and crossed his arms. "Look, I'm a man and you're a woman. We're alone in space with _nobody_ else around…tension is going to build up sooner or later." Vegeta uncrossed his arms and put his ear to the door to try to discern where the woman was in the room. "You can deny it all you want woman, but you have to come out of the room and even if you resist my princely charms at first you'll soon come around." Vegeta shrugged when the woman didn't answer, it didn't matter what she said; sooner or later she _would_ come around.

Not that he relished the thought of sleeping with the woman; it wasn't like he actually liked her or anything…it was just this damned heat he was going into. It was his hormones that wanted the woman, not him…just because he'd had one or two dreams about her before didn't mean anything.

Did it?

* * *

Bulma tensely unlocked the door and crept out, Vegeta was sprawled on the one chair in the room – asleep.

She said a quick thank you to whichever god was listening and quietly tiptoed past him to the cupboard where all the entertainment videos were kept; she opened it up wincing as it squeaked. Vegeta muttered something about pink rats riding unicycles and having to email the president but didn't wake up. Bulma let out her breath and turned to peruse the contents of the cupboard…and screamed.

* * *

Vegeta and Bulma stared at the one video the cupboard had contained, occasionally blinking as if willing the video to transform into something, anything else but what it was.

"What I don't understand is how it got in there." Vegeta nudged it with his hand.

Bulma picked it up and turned it over in her hands, her keen eyes taking in the horrid sight of the purple and green dinosaur and the lurid heading on the cover; **_'Barney and Friends!'_**

"What I want to know is where all the other videos went." She sighed and took the video out of the case. "I mean…I guess this might have accidentally got in here when Chichi came to visit and we let Gohan watch a video in here while we had coffee…but that doesn't explain where all my other video's got to."

Vegeta suddenly looked up. "Why do you even keep videos in here?"

"Look 'Geta…"

"Don't call me 'Geta!" The saiyan snapped irritably.

Bulma continued as though he hadn't spoken. "I spend all my time in here fixing this damned machine, I just started bringing videos with so I could at least listen to them while I worked, sometimes I'd take a break and watch one." Bulma shrugged and put the video into the VRC. "Here we go…"

"_I love yoooooouuuu…you love meeeee…we're a happy familllllyyyyy…"_

* * *

Vegeta grated his teeth as he heard the hated song start up again from the bedroom.

"_I love yoooooouuuu…you love meeeee…we're a happy familllllyyyyy…"_

The damned woman had been watching the tape almost non-stop, it was starting to get out of control, she was fixated on the tape, she just locked herself away in the room and pressed play.

Over and over again.

He couldn't take it anymore.

The dopey voice of the dinosaur, the overly happy songs, or even worse, when the woman got the part of the tape where the 'Barney' would 'teach' the children how to count the same numbers over and over again…

'One and Four make five…one and four make five…one and four make five…'

How he loathed the dinosaur.

How he longed to see the purple and green creature burn.

It would have been bearable if the creature didn't sing, but it _did._ It sang constantly and loudly and repetitiously so that the song remained in your head for hours afterwards.

Suddenly the tape cut off, the door opened and the woman came out of the room, a fixed smile painted on her face. "Hello Vegeta, how are you feeling?"

"Like I want to have sex." he stood up and walked towards her, wishing the blue haired woman would just let him have his way with her so things could get back to normal and he'd go off heat.

"That's nice." She blinked. "You know, Barney had a problem like yours."

"He did?" Vegeta didn't remember Barney going onto heat when he watched the video with the woman the first time.

"Yes, Barney wanted a candy apple for his birthday, but he couldn't get one…"

"How is that like my problem?" Vegeta clenched his fists, _great, _he though, _the woman's been brainwashed by a children's show._

"Well you see Vegeta, sometimes we all want things." She patted his shoulder. "You want sex, Barney wants a candy apple and I want to space myself while I'm still able. But the thing to realise is this, we can't all get what we want; Barney couldn't get his candy apple because it was bad for him and I can't kill myself because it's dangerous for my health."

"What about me?"

"What about you?" Bulma blinked again as if seeing him for the first time.

"Why can't I have sex with you? It's not like it would hurt anyone." Vegeta moved closer, wishing he still had a tail to run up the woman's leg.

Tails were sexy, everyone knew that.

"Oh, but it would be bad for you're health!" Bulma whispered to him confidently. "You might not know it, but you'd get very hurt." Bulma nodded to herself. "You'd be in constant pain."

"What? Why?" He looked confused again.

Bulma very slowly and nastily smiled. "Because if you slept with me I'd make your life a living hell afterwards."

"Puh!" Vegeta rolled his eyes. "You don't have the power!"

"Really? I think I do." Bulma laughed and started to walk away, softly singing; "_I love yoooooouuuu…you love meeeee…we're a happy familllllyyyyy…"_

Vegeta's eyes widened. "You _wouldn't_!"

Bulma cackled. "Oh Vegeta, if you even lay a hand on me then I'll put that videotape on and I'll turn the volume up so loud that you won't have a hope in hell of escaping Barney and all his friends."

"You sadistic, evil…"

"I wouldn't finish that sentence if I were you; you don't want to upset me now do you?" Bulma grinned when Vegeta remained silent. "That's a good saiyan, now we have to get some rules clear. Firstly I'm getting the bed each night, if I wake up and you're in there with me; Barney goes on. Secondly, if you even attempt to seduce me then guess what? Barney goes on! And lastly if you even try to put the gravity machine on again while I'm in the room…that's right! You guessed it! Barney goes on! Now any questions?"

"What about if I put the gravity machine on so high that it squashes you flat – how are you going to put Barney on then smart ass?" Vegeta arrogantly raised his head…and instant wished he hadn't.

"But Vegeta! You wouldn't hurt me would you? After all if you killed me who are you going sleep with?" Bulma's grin widened then faltered as she realised what she'd said.

"Does that mean you'll sleep with me?" Vegeta took a step closer and ran a hand up Bulma's arm, she shivered and stared into his eyes and for a second Vegeta saw the same longing in her eyes that her saw in his every time he looked in the mirror, then her gates went crashing down and she pulled away.

"You tried to seduce me!" She rubbed at his arm where he'd softly touched her as if it was tingling. "I warned you what would happen!"

"Woman, no!" Vegeta pleaded desperately as she turned around. "I'll be good! I promise!"

"Ha!" Bulma scoffed, "I think that trying to seduce me warrants 2 hours of quality Barney and Friends time!" She walked back into the bedroom and slammed the door.

"_I love yoooooouuuu…you love meeeee…we're a happy familllllyyyyy…"_

Vegeta collapsed back into the chair and felt his eyes water…_he wouldn't cry; he wouldn't cry_…he could take Barney! He just had to get through the next two hours…then he could make sure that he did nothing to upset the woman.

**"Don't worry Vegeta, Bulma hates Barney just as much as you do, she's only doing this to torture you."**

"I know I…hey! Who the hell are you?" Vegeta sat up and stared at the strange man who was standing in front of him.

**"I'm Lucas the incredibly good looking elf."**

"But…where…what…when…how did you get here?" Vegeta edged away from the gorgeous elf man.

**_"Oh Vegeta, I'm a delusion your mind has created in an attempted to keep you sane!"_** **_Lucas the incredibly good-looking elf laughed. _**

"Sane?" Vegeta spluttered. "Go away! I am sane!"

**_"Whatever you say Vegeta, but just so you know! I'll be back!"_** **_Lucas the incredibly good-looking elf flashed a brilliant and perfect smile and disappeared._**

Vegeta stared at the floor as the harmonious strains of Barney filtered past him. "I am sane."


	3. Lucas The Incredibly Good Looking Elf!

Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own DBZ…I don't own a monkey either…**

**_A/N – Okay people, for those people who have asked me – Yes this is a repost. Temptation Waits has been posted at this site on 4 other occasions – the first time it was up it got over 1200 reviews, so you know it's gonna be at least a readable and mildly amusing fic. The reason that it was taken down so many times was because of all the sex scenes between Bulma and Vegeta – this time I've edited them out and I will instead provide un-edited versions of chapter for people who ask me for them._**

**_Also for those two people who actually flamed me – if you don't like something why not tell me exactly what it is and then suggest some ways of fixing it? That's called constructive criticism and it makes you seem a lot more mature then whinging about characters being OOC and there not being enough sex...and really, OOC? Everything about this fic is OOC. I suggest dealing with it or reading something else if you don't like silly fics with silly situations.  
_**

**_To everyone else reviewed, thank you. Stick with this fic because soon enough Vegeta tries to make hi move on Bulma, and if there's one thing funnier then a saiyan prince on heat it's a saiyan prince on heat making lame pick up lines! (Yeah, I went there!)_**__

* * *

Bulma put her ear to the door and listened…was Vegeta talking to himself again? Ever since she'd made the Barney threat yesterday she kept hearing him muttering to himself. It was very unnerving. It was bad enough having Vegeta on heat, she sure as hell didn't want a raving psychotic saiyan on heat.

"…And she keeps torturing me with that horrible video!"

Bulma chuckled as Vegeta's voice took on an anguished note, she quickly stopped laughing though, it couldn't be healthy for Vegeta to be talking to himself. She stood up and unlocked the door and peeked through, Vegeta was sitting on his chair as usual, he was staring at the space in front of him as though somebody was standing there. Bulma raised her eyebrows and shrugged as she pushed the door open the rest of the way and walked into the main room.

"'Geta…"

"Don't call me 'Geta!" Vegeta snapped argumentatively.

"Who are you talking to?" Bulma glanced about the room nervously.

"I was talking to…nobody. You must be hearing things, bah, paranoid woman." Vegeta stood up and stretched.

"Are you sure?" Bulma glanced about. "I mean if something's wrong you can tell me."

"Wrong? Wrong? What could possibly be wrong?" Vegeta glared at her. "I'm stuck on a ship, in heat, in space, with no control over the ships movements, with a woman who hates me, gee what could possibly be wrong?"

"'Geta…"

"Don't call me 'Geta!"

"I'm getting worried about you." Bulma came closer to him. "Please, who were you talking to?"

Vegeta sighed. "I was talking to Lucas the incredibly good looking elf."

Bulma stared at him. Blinked. Then resumed staring. "Right, I think I'm hearing things could you repeat that?"

"I said, I was talking to Lucas the incredibly good looking elf, he says he's a delusion my mind created to keep me sane but I think he's really here to steal you from me." Vegeta crept closer to Bulma. "He's probably here right now, listening to us talk…he's a sneaky one that Lucas, very crafty."

"Oh…I bet." Bulma murmured weakly. She wondered if she could make it back to the bedroom before Vegeta could grab her, obviously he'd finally blown a wire.

Vegeta moved even closer to her. "Are you scared? I can hold you to my manly chest if you are?"

"Vegeta! Did you just try to seduce me?" Bulma stepped away from him, her eyes narrowing.

Vegeta looked right and then left then lent in close. "I didn't say that…Lucas the incredibly good looking elf said that – don't you see him? He's standing right next to you?"

"Oh…yes…I can see him." Bulma very gently took hold of Vegeta's arm. "Vegeta, now Barney once had a similar problem to you…"

"I don't want to hear about Barney!" Vegeta yelled irritably, his eyes crazed.

"Vegeta!" Bulma felt her temper rising.

"It wasn't me…it was Lucas! Lucas I tell you!" Vegeta looked wildly around. "AAAAAH! He's trying to get into my ears!" Vegeta clutched his head and dropped to the floor.

"Vegeta! Barney got lonely once and created an imaginary friend…that's what you're doing." Bulma continued to speak, ignoring Vegeta as he rolled around on the floor beating at his head screaming for Lucas to get out. "But in the end Barney discovered that as long as he had friends…oh wait, you don't have friends do you Vegeta?"

Vegeta continued to scream.

"I said, you don't have any friends do you Vegeta?" Bulma frowned.

Vegeta continued to scream.

"Then again you do have me...Oh! I can't take this noise!" Bulma got down on her hands and knee's and grabbed Vegeta's head. "LUCAS! GET THE FUCK OUT OF VEGETA'S HEAD RIGHT THIS MINUTE! OR SO HELP ME GOD, I'M GOING TO COME IN THERE AND…"

Vegeta snapped out of it and stared up at her, shocked. "Hey…you did it…Lucas is gone!"

"How un-expected." Bulma dryly muttered as she got back up.

"Bulma?" Vegeta sat up and pulled her back down into his lap. "I'm really sorry to have to do this…and I know it's going to earn me a lot of Barney and friends time, but I have to kiss you." And with that Vegeta tipped Bulma's face back, gazed down into her azure eyes and very gently lowered his lips to Bulma's and bestowed upon her a soft and almost loving kiss.

Bulma stared back into Vegeta's eyes, dumbstruck at the emotional depth of the kiss he was bestowing upon her, it was nothing like she had expected. She'd expected fire and passion but this was soft and gentle.

"Mmm!" Bulma mumbled against Vegeta's lips and managed to drag herself away from his kiss. "I can't do this…"

"It's just a kiss…" Vegeta lent down again but Bulma detangled herself from his grasp and moved away.

"No! It's not just a kiss, kissing is fine and nice but when you kiss like that it always leads to bigger things and I am not going to sleep with the man who threatened to kill me on Namek!"

Vegeta jumped to his feet, "I wouldn't have actually hurt you…much. I was planning doing some hurting but mainly it was another type of physical action I had in mind." Vegeta raised an eyebrow suggestively.

"Puh! Liar! I know a liar when I see one!" Bulma shied away when Vegeta took a step towards her. "No! You stay back! I don't know where you learn't to kiss like that but it's not fair to me! I can resist nasty bastards who kiss like they want to drink you up, but I can't resist dark and handsome men who kiss like they love you! It's just not fair on women! Especially when you don't love me, Vegeta, and never will." Bulma gave him a warning glance when he started to speak. "I already said not to bother defending yourself, you surprised me with that kiss and even though I'm freely admitting it was wonderful and nice I am still not going to jump into bed with you!"

"But Bulma!"

"Don't you _'but Bulma'_ me! I know you're in heat and I know it's getting worse but you'll just have to learn to control yourself!" Bulma turned and flounced back to the bedroom and shut the door. Vegeta heard her moving around inside and guessed what she was doing. "Five hours of Barney Vegeta! Five hours of childish tunes and ridiculous moral tales for trying to seduce me!" The door muffled her voice but Vegeta could still here the shaken tone in it.

He groaned to himself and sunk down on the floor as the now all too familiar tune of Barney started up.

**"She's so cruel to you Vegeta, you know what you should do is go in there now and smash the television to bits."** Lucas the incredibly good-looking elf appeared and flashed his usual perfect smile.

"Go away Lucas the incredibly good looking elf, do you think I'd be so dumb as to trust you after you tried to crawl in my ears and eat my brains!" Vegeta scoffed and walked away from him. "Besides I know you're just after my Bulma!"

Lucas the incredibly good looking elf laughed. **"Oh that…I wasn't trying to hurt you, that was just a warning to you not to try to tell Bulma about me again. Humans have this silly notion that if you see an incredibly good looking elf while your alone with a woman on a space ship over which you have no control and are in a saiyan heat, that seeing an incredibly good looking elf is bad for you, but we know that isn't true, right Vegeta old buddy old pal? Just go on into her room and smash the television."**

Vegeta took a few steps towards Bulma's door. "Okay, I'll get rid of the television but…well…are you sure this is a good idea?"

**"Of course it is!"** Lucas the incredibly good looking elf laughed eerily as he faded away. **"Have I ever steered you wrong before?"**

"Right." Vegeta grinned crazily. "It's smashing time!" The deranged prince pranced up to the door and put his ear against it, trying to hear where the woman was through the melodious strains of '_I love you, you love me_…" "Woman?" He crooned into the door. "Let me in, I want to apologise for my…behaviour earlier." He lent even closer to the door and narrowed his eyes and he tried to discern whether or not Bulma had heard him.

Vegeta shrugged and decided to try again, "Woman?" He took a deep breath. "LET ME IN OR I'LL BLAST THIS DOOR DOWN RIGHT THIS MINUTE!" He raised his voice to several decibels above what's considered polite and waited for Bulma to open the door and respond.

Barney and Co. shut off and an eerie silence emanated from the bedroom, there was silence for a moment, then small unidentifiable sounds came form the bedroom for several minutes, then there was silence once more. Vegeta, suddenly uneasy, stepped away from the door as he heard Bulma's soft footfalls coming towards him.

He heard the bedroom door unlock, saw the handle on the door twist ever so slowly, then the bedroom door swung open with a kind of finality that Vegeta found unnerving and almost frightening.

No one stood in the doorway; it stared at him like the big empty black hole it was, daring him to approach at his peril.

Vegeta took one step, two steps, three steps towards it, his eyes flicking from left to right as he sensed a trap. He reached the doorway and paused his sleekly muscled body on edge as he waited for Bulma to spring her trap…

Nothing happened.

Vegeta shrugged. "Guess I was over re-acting." And took a step forward…

He heard Bulma's cackling laugh a moment to late to halt himself and his foot was suddenly entangled in a pile of unwound dental floss. Vegeta let out an almost girlish shriek as he toppled over, landing badly on his face. He closed his eyes and wondered why he felt the sensation of moving.

Once again Vegeta opened his eyes too late to avoid disaster.

His coal black eyes widened in fear as he realised Bulma had coated the floor in shampoo and because of the force of his fall he was now sliding towards the shower at a speed man and saiyans alike had only dreamed of.

"Oh fuck…" Vegeta muttered as he rammed into the shower, his head slamming into the tiles with enough impact to shake the entire ship.

The woman's foot appeared next to his face as she stood above him, he heard her fiddling around above his head then with a laugh she turned the cold water on and bounced happily out of the shower.

"I warned you not to mess with me, Mr. Prince of all saiyans!" The woman laughed, pleased with herself as she shut the shower door. "You stay in there till you cool off!"


	4. The Battle Of The Gravity Machine!

**Chapter 4**

DISCLAIMER: I don't own DBZ…I don't own a monkey either, but that's life.

* * *

"Bitch!" Vegeta muttered as he finished taping some gauze over the red lump on his forehead. He glared in the bathroom mirror at Bulma who was kneeling on the floor picking up piece of what had once been her TV set.

"Bastard!" Bulma muttered right back as she stared, stricken, at the remains of her favourite possession.

Needless to say, when Vegeta had picked himself up off the shower floor he hadn't been a happy camper. The TV had been the first thing he's destroyed in his rage. Barney and Friends had followed soon after and fragments of the black tape were littered over Bulma's bed. Of course Vegeta knew that it didn't matter that the tape had been destroyed, the woman had been only too glad to demonstrate that she knew the entire tape off by heart by singing at him at the top of her lungs for an entire two hours.

It seemed that Barney would live on in spirit.

"Did you _have_ to destroy the TV?" Bulma stood up suddenly and glared at him with teary eyes. "Wasn't murdering Barney enough? You had to go ands ruin my TV as well?"

"What would you have used it for woman? We have no other movies." Vegeta turned around to glare right back at her…well at the shape of her breasts under her shirt. Try as he might he couldn't bring himself to raise his gaze higher than that. His heat was getting worse.

"I might have found some more videos later!" Bulma defended herself shrilly. "Or I might have been able to pick up some radio or TV rays…you never know!" She stalked forward and poked Vegeta hard in the chest. "You know, I'm getting just a tiny bit sick of you attitude lately. First of all you try to seduce me, then you go crazy and start seeing incredibly good looking elves and then to top it all off you go rank kill both Barney and my TV!"

"I have an attitude problem? You're the one who played that video over and over even though you knew I hated it, you're the one that gave me this lump on my head and you're the one that won't let me seduce you! I'm trying to keep myself under control woman but it's getting harder!" Vegeta broke off and growled.

Bulma bit her lip and looked him, suddenly serious. "Now, when you say, 'it's getting harder…'" Vegeta gave a frustrated howl and let the room, Bulma laughed after him and followed close behind. "Come on, can't you take a joke?"

"No! I have no sense of humour!"

"Sure you do, everyone does."

"No me, I came sense of humour free - _guaranteed_."

"I've seen you laugh…maliciously maybe, but it was laughter all the same." Bulma quickly moved in front of him. "Can you honestly say that you've never found anything funny?"

"Well…" Vegeta looked thoughtful, then his face darkened again. "No! Nothing has been funny. Maybe I might seem to have a sense of humour but I don't!"

"Okay, Vegeta, whatever you say." Bulma looked at the floor. "You know, you could at least try to get on with me while we're stuck here."

"Woman…" Vegeta seemed about to say something but instead her shook his head. "Never mind. I'm going to train now, so…"

"NO! You are not going to train in this ship! What happens if you blow a hole in it and we die, huh?" Bulma had suddenly perked up again, albeit angrily. "I FORBID IT!"

"Well, can I at least put the gravity machine on…"

"NO!" The blue haired harpy interrupted rudely. "Do you have any idea what would happen to me if you put that on?" Bulma poked Vegeta in the chest again. "If you put it on you'll kill me…"

"No it won't! I can remember you saying that the gravity machine would only affect the main room, not the bedroom." He narrowed his eyes. "Why don't you want it on?" Vegeta moved up close and grabbed Bulma's finger, which had still been poking into her chest.

"Because I don't want you getting carried away and blasting the two of us to hell! And I don't want to come wandering out here in the middle of the night only to be squished by gravity! Please leave it off."

Vegeta gazed down into her wide and desperate eyes, he felt his stomach tighten with need and everything seemed to slow down around him until he was aware of nothing but the woman staring up at him with those blue, blue eyes. He could imagine her under him on that bed, her hands tracing his chest as he slowly…

"DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK!" Vegeta blinked again to find Bulma glaring at him again; she slapped him and pulled away. "Don't give me that look ever again Vegeta! Or I'll sing!"

"I'm sorry…it's this damned heat I'm in, if I could stop feeling this way I would, but it's getting worse." Vegeta sighed. "You should go back to your room, you know in case I get carried away again."

"Yeah…I might do that, I'm not scared of you…I just have to finish cleaning up the TV." Bulma bolted to room, peered at him from the doorway then slammed the door shut and locked it.

Vegeta raised his head and slowly a Grinch like smile spread over his features. He lightly padded over to her door and as soundlessly as he could he began to melt the door lock, effectively locking Bulma in. His grin widened anymore as he turned back around and walked up to the gravity machine, running a hand over the console. "Computer, 100 times Earth's gravity."

**"One hundred times Earth's Gravity commencing."**

"Stupid woman." Vegeta marvelled at his own brilliance as he felt the GM start up, as if he'd lose control and throw himself at the woman, he'd just wanted to get her in the bedroom so he could lock it, and it had worked. But then he was a genius at scams and plots, Bulma hadn't had a chance!

Vegeta dropped to the floor and began to do push ups, working out all his frustrations in a sweaty work out that would have killed a lesser man…or saiyan!

* * *

Bulma's eyes widened when she heard the tell tale hum of the GM starting up, she hurried to the door and tried to unlock it, but the handle on the door wouldn't turn, let alone unlock. Bulma leant down and looked at handle, she couldn't see anything wrong but she could smell the smell of melted metal.

"That lying bastard!" Bulma muttered angrily as she stood up straight again and rapped on the door. "Vegeta! Let me out right this minute! I'm not joking around! If you don't let me out I'll…I'll…I'll find some way to make you regret this!"

"Really woman? What are you going to do? You don't have you video anymore, and you can't sing forever! I think you'll just have to sit back and wait for me to finish!" Vegeta laughed.

"I'll show him, I'll _show_ him." Bulma clenched her fists and walked to the cupboard where she pulled out the toolbox she had with her, then she walked across the a steel grating in the floor and pulled it up, inside where hundreds of tiny circuit boards, Bulma reached inside and pulled one out, she looked it over then put it back and pulled another one out until she found the one she wanted, she giggled quietly as she pulled out a pair of tiny snake head pliers and an even small screwdriver and began to undo a small black panel on the circuit board, the panel came off, under it a small label was stuck which read; **GM GRAV CTRL**

"Let's see how Mr. Prince of all saiyans likes it when I break his favourite toy…" Bulma held up the snake heard pliers and was about the twist the tiny wires and cogs in there to pieces when a thought struck her.

She wouldn't break it just yet, she'd play with Vegeta for a little while, make him regret locking her away in here while he trained!

Bulma gingerly began to turn one of the tiny cogs until the digital numbers, which had been set at 100G, went up to 150G. She giggled and began to screw with the gravity, sometime taking it down to 10G before moving it up to 250G and so on.

"You're going to regret breaking my lock Vegeta!" Bulma hissed angrily as she twisted the cog right around to 300G…

* * *

Vegeta fell to the floor with a thump as the GM raised the gravity to 300G. "Stupid machine what's wrong with you!" Vegeta tried to stand but he could even lift a finger.

**"Five times Earth's gravity commencing."**

The computer lowered the gravity again and Vegeta slumped to the floor, he'd barely been able to breath in 300G…what the heck was wrong with the machine? Vegeta stood up and made his way to the control, he saw the numbers flash up to 200G again and groaned as the weight increased…

**"Two hundred times Earth's gravity commencing." **

Vegeta managed to stand under the force of the gravity and forced himself to lift his arm and more his hand towards the button, his arm muscles bulged under the effort, sweat streamed down his body as the unfamiliar weight became almost unbearable, finally Vegeta's hand reached the button and he was able to push the stop button.

The GM powered down and Vegeta slumped to the floor, breathing hard, his eyes made their way to the woman's door. She'd done that, somehow she's found a way to mess with the controls, well he's how her! Vegeta stood up and then he made his way to the woman's door and kicked the door down, the woman was inside with a pair of pliers in her hand and a circuit board in the other.

"Uh oh…" She looked up and saw him, her eyes widening as Vegeta strode towards her, picked her up, slinging her over his shoulder before he carried her back out to the main room, he dumped her on the ground then re-started the gravity machine at 4 times Earths gravity.

Bulma groaned and tried to move before lying back down, "Vegeta…please…I can barely…breathe…"

"Well woman, now you know how I felt when you put the gravity up to Three Hundred G's, not very nice is it?"

"Sorry…please…let me up!" Bulma closed her eyes and concentrated on forcing herself to breath.

"I will, after you promise not to pull any stunts like that again." Vegeta stared down at her, feeling an incredibly rush of power as Bulma writhed on the floor in front of him.

"Okay…I promise." She gasped, desperately trying to breathe properly.

"And you have to let me train once a day." Vegeta crouched down near Bulma and stroked her hair.

"But…"

"Promise."

"Okay…you can train. Please turn it off! Please!" Bulma opened her eyes and was surprised to find Vegeta's face so close to her own. For a second she assumed that Vegeta was going to take her here on the floor, then he pulled back slightly and smirked at her.

"One more thing, you have to let me mate with you soon woman…I…I really am finding it hard to be so close to you and not get to have you."

Bulma was silent, would he force her is she said no? Well she was gong to find out. "I will not promise you that…I don't want to get hurt after what Yamcha did…but I'll try to be nicer to you…please…let me up."

Vegeta stood up and turned the gravity machine off, Bulma sighed and breathed hard, as if she'd been running a race.

She stumbled to her feet and looked at Vegeta. "I am sorry." She hurried away back to the bedroom.

Vegeta watched her go then pulled out a small pad of paper and made a tick. "Bulma two and Vegeta one…yeah, I'm catching her!"


	5. Count Atrium Ventricular

Chapter 5

DISCLAIMER: I don't own DBZ…I don't own a monkey either…

**A/N – This chapter goes out to all of those biology nerds who love the human body! If you've ever dissected a heart then you're going to get this chapter! Enjoy it!**

* * *

In the deep, dark recesses of space, where no living creature in its right mind willingly travels, lies a blood red planet of pure evil.

The planet Ventricle.

On this horrid blood red planet lives a terrible race of people called the Semi-Lunar. The Semi-Lunar are a war-like people: they are small, round red humanoids with spongy skin that secretes poisonous red ooze. They are a ferocious people, trained in the art of war from the day they are born. They ruled by an overlord whose power rivals that of Frieza. The name of the cruel hearted being is Lord Atrium Ventricular and he is the man responsible for his people's merciless demeanour.

They are ten times worse then saiyans, ten times more terrible then anything the Earth has ever faced.

And unfortunately for Bulma and Vegeta, the planet Ventricle lay directly in the path of their space pod…

* * *

"What do you mean the food dispenser is broken? How could it have broken over night while we _both_ slept?" Vegeta scowled at Bulma, his saiyan temper flaring to life over Bulma's discovery that the food dispenser had apparently decided to suicide over night from over use.

Bulma scowled back, at him. Not being able to have her usual cup of coffee was also have detrimental effect son her personality. "Well obviously somebody got hungry during the night, decided to get some food and broke it!" She glared accusingly at Vegeta.

"What do you mean got hungry during the night? We don't have a 'night time' or a 'day time' we're in bloody space!" Vegeta's irritation grew. Not because the food dispenser was broken, more because Bulma had somehow found out about his midnight food fetishes.

"Don't change the subject! You broke the damned machine! Just admit it! You got hungry, stumbled over to the machine and in your half sleepy clumsy state you broke the machine!" Bulma's hands were clenched into fists and she boldly strode up until she was in Vegeta's face. "And another thing you're getting fat! Stop eating!"

Vegeta's face started to turn red, form anger of course, not embarrassment! "FAT! I am not fat!"

Bulma sniggered, and poked him in his chest. "Well you will be if you keep sneaking out at night to eat chocolate!"

Vegeta's jaw dropped open, _how did she know that he got chocolate cravings at night_? "How did you know…?"

"I could hear your big fat feet stomping as you walked over to the food dispenser, and out of sheer morbid curiosity I decided to peek out my door and see what you were eating." Bulma slowly shook her head. "Oh Vegeta…chocolate isn't good for you."

Vegeta's face had turned red again; he seemed not to have noticed her last comment. "I AM NOT FAT!" He tried to convince Bulma, but apparently she was determined to make him feel bad.

"Sure you're not." Bulma winked at him. "You're just big boned right?"

"Shut up! I'm not fat!" Vegeta hastily stared at himself; he ran his hands down his body, searching for any sign of this 'fat' finding none he looked up again at a giggling Bulma.

"Looking for those love handles, tubby?" she laughed at her own joke. "Don't worry 'Geta…"

"Don't call me 'Geta!" He snapped without looking up as he continued to run his hands over his body.

"…I'll fix your food trough for you, although considering how much chocolate you eat I should have really considered putting in a vending machine, at least then I'd be getting some money in return." Bulma chuckled to herself as Vegeta glared at her. The proud saiyan prince tried to think of a comeback but his mind was blank, instead he gave her the best glare he could muster and hastily stomped away, he had almost reached the bedroom door, and relative safety, when the computer's voice stopped him dead in his tracks.

**"Receiving a transmission from the planet Ventricle."**

"The Planet Ventricle? Oh no!" Vegeta whipped around and faced Bulma. "That isn't good news."

"What do you mean? What is the planet Ventricle and why is getting a message from them bad?" She hastily pushed her hair behind her ears and whirled to face the COM screen. Before Vegeta could answer her the COM screen lit up with a blubbery looking red creature that had thick red ooze oozing down his face. It had small beady black eyes and when it opened his mouth to talk they saw row upon row of sharp needle-like teeth.

"I am the Count Atrium Ventricular, Overlord of planet Ventricle!" Vegeta made a small sound of fright as the creature leaned towards the screen and apparently recognized him. "Ah, Prince Vegeta, how lovely to see you. I was terribly sad to hear of your planet's…accident…all those years ago."

Vegeta's eyes widened but his mouth stayed firmly shut.

"And who is that lovely beauty by your side?" Count Atrium Ventricular licked his lips as he stared at her.

"Hey! Get your oozy eyes off me!" Bulma jumped behind Vegeta, who made another sound of fear and tried to push her back in front.

"Hmm…I was hoping that whoever was on this vessel might have been somebody worthy of a fight…but if there is only you two weakling then I guess I'll just have to destroy you."

"DESTROY ME?" Bulma jumped back in front of Vegeta again, her courage restored by the threat to her life. "You don't want to destroy me! I have this friend called Goku and if you kill me then he'll come looking for you and he'll destroy your entire planet." Bulma glared at Count Atrium Ventricular.

Vegeta seemed to compose himself. "Yeah…and besides, I'm a lot stronger then when we last met, I bet I could take you out no problem." Vegeta scowled at Count Atrium Ventricular.

"Yeah!" Bulma stepped back next to Vegeta. "Vegeta's right! He's strong! I bet he could easily beat an over-ripe space tomato like you!"

Count Atrium Ventricular made a choking sound. "Did you not hear me? I am the COUNT ATRIUM VENTRICULAR OF THE PLANET VENTRICLE! Does that not mean anything to you? I am the Overlord of the Semi-Lunar people! We are war gods! We have crushed entire civilizations with out breaking a sweat!"

"Oh please!" Bulma scoffed, rolling her eyes. "You look more like some kind of escapee from camp FAT! It's no wonder your people crush civilisations so easily, you probably just sit on them!"

"WHAT!" Count Atrium Ventricular made a roaring sound shook his fist at them; "I'm coming up there right now! And when I get inside your little space pod I'm going to rend you limb from limb!" He punched a button and the screen went blank.

Vegeta laughed. "That really was quite funny…it'd be even funnier if we weren't going to die."

"What do you mean?" Bulma whirled to face him. "What do you mean were going to die?"

"Well I can't _really _beat him, I was just bluffing." Vegeta shrugged as though this should have been obvious to her.

"You could have told me that!"

"How was I to know that you'd infuriate him so much that he'd…oh wait, this is _you_ were talking about, Mrs. Infuriating in the flesh!" Vegeta dropped to the floor. "I don't want to die like this." He took deep breaths and snuck a look at Bulma. Thankfully she was ignoring him so he continued to act scared.

Bulma ignored him as he stared at the floor and mumbled to himself, she went to the air lock and made sure it was securely locked. "Look Vegeta, I don't mean to interrupt your little session, but moping isn't going to help."

"Nothing's going to help," Vegeta slowly stood up. "We should just go to the bedroom and make use of what little time we have left."

Bulma rolled her eyes. "We are going to the bedroom, but not so I'll play 'hide the salami' with you. We're going to go in their, lock the door and hope that the count doesn't have arms to open doors with…does he have arms?"

"No…but he has acidic ooze that burns through metals that he can squirt out his eyes." Vegeta trudged through the bedroom door and sprawled across the bed. "Are you sure you don't want to have some fun before you die?" He patted the bed next to him and raised his eyebrows suggestively.

Bulma followed him through the bedroom door, closed the door and locked the door with the brand new lock she'd only just attached the night before. "Tempting Vegeta, but no."

"Last chance…well it's not really your last chance, it's more of an open ended offer." Vegeta smiled at her. "At least come and sit on the bed with me, loath as I am to admit it, I wouldn't mind dying on a bed with a beautiful woman."

Bulma sighed and sat on the bed near him. "If you so much as look at me wrong I'm going to lock myself in the bathroom." She threatened.

"Okay." Vegeta smiled again, he could afford to wait for the woman to come around – he was close to achieving his goal of weaseling her into bed. "I'll behave."

_Yeah…she's mine…all I have to do is lie here and look gorgeous. No woman can resist Prince Vegeta…_


	6. Pick Up Lines Saiyan Style!

Chapter 6

DISCLAIMER: I don't own DBZ…I don't own a monkey either…

**A/N - I told you I went there... Oh and lookie - %%%%%%%%%%%%% 8** _(a snake! Heh, heh, heh!)_

* * *

Bulma nervously picked at her nails as she tensely waited for the arrival of Count Atrium Ventricular. Next to her on the bed Vegeta was stretched out like a big cat, his eyes watching her every move. It was very unnerving. She felt like some kind of chocolate desert that he was waiting to gobble up…

"Hey? Woman?" Vegeta inched closer and smiled, his voice rippling with what sounded like a sexual purr. "If you get scared you can always cuddle up to me." He patted the bed again.

"I won't get scared." Bulma narrowed her eyes and moved another inch away from him, behind her she could feel that she had reached the end of the bed and gave Vegeta a warning glare. "Don't come any closer!"

"Okay, I won't." Vegeta gave a smug looked and moved back across to his side of the bed. He glanced up at her and smirked. "Man…I'm feeling really warm…" Bulma's eyes widened as Vegeta unclipped his chest armour and pulled it off. "All this…_tension_…is really getting me_ hot_."

Is he talking dirty to me? Is this his not so subtle way of…oh my God look at that chest!

Vegeta pulled off the top half of his blue training suit and yawned wide enough for Bulma to catch a glimpse of his sharp canines, he looked at Bulma's flushed face and stretched, showing off every inch of his well toned chest and shoulders.

_Don't let him get to you…he's evil…he's bad…oh yeah…he's oh so bad! No! Bad Bulma! Think of baseball…think of baseball…Vegeta playing baseball…Naked Vegeta playing baseball! No! Stupid brain, this is not the way to get healthy!_

Vegeta watched as several expressions crossed Bulma's face, a slight sweat broke up on her brow and she cleared her throat and looked away. "I think you should put your shirt back on Vegeta."

"Why? I walk around capsule corp. all day with out a shirt…why is now so different?"

_Because now I've broken up with Yamcha so I'm boyfriend free and haven't had a man in a few months and I'm alone with you in space and I think I'm starting to become just a little attracted to you…_

"Because at home you weren't trying to con me into bed." Bulma ignored her brain as it tried to convince her to look at Vegeta's chest again…and maybe look a little lower.

Vegeta shrugged but didn't put his shirt on, Bulma glared at him again before leaning back against the headboard of the bed, next to her Vegeta sat up a little straighter and a familiar sneaky look came into his eyes. He yawned and stretched. "Man I'm feeling really tired…" slowly as he stretched and yawned he extended his arm till it was around Bulma's shoulders.

Oh. My. God.

Bulma stared at his hand as it lay on her shoulder. "Vegeta, that was so, incredibly, unbelievably lame!" She shrugged his arm off her. "Don't do that again…it's creepy! You're not a teenage saiyan anymore you're a grown saiyan! Act like one!" Bulma squealed as a clanging sound echoed around them, and the space pod shook under their feet.

"Oh-oh! Count Atrium Ventricular has arrived!" Vegeta looked out the corner of his eyes at Bulma who had turned pale.

She gave a small scream as another bump rocked their ship, and she threw herself into Vegeta's arms. "I don't wanna die!"

Vegeta wrapped his arms around Bulma; unsure of how to comfort her now she was in his arms…he lowered his face into her hair and drew in a breath.

She smelled nice.

Like peppermint.

Mmm…he liked peppermint, the real kind of peppermint of course, not that artificial stuff; it gave him a rash.

Vegeta held Bulma more securely against him as he heard a creaking sound that could only mean one thing…

"Oh no! He got through the air lock!" Bulma burrowed her head into Vegeta's shoulder. "Don't let him kill me Vegeta!"

Vegeta tried to speak but couldn't…she was in his arms, her scent was all around him it was all he could do not to roll over on top of her and have his wicked way with her. Snuggled in his arms, Bulma waited for the bedroom door to open, she waited for Count Atrium Ventricular to come waltzing in to destroy her…

He didn't come.

Bulma listened carefully…once she thought she heard a strange pop followed by a gurgling sound but that was it…everything else was silent.

"Vegeta?"

"Mmm?" Vegeta's voice sounded oddly strained.

"Why do you think he hasn't come in here to kill us?" Bulma twisted out of Vegeta's arms, ignoring his almost inaudible protesting moan. "I'm going to take a quick peek out the bedroom door…you coming?"

Vegeta closed his eyes and tried to count to ten…if he didn't control himself better he'd hurt the woman…he didn't want to hurt her…wait! He had an idea!

"Hey Bulma?" He sat up straighter on the bed and gave her his best 'All-American-Good-Guy' grin.

"What?" Bulma looked at him warily.

"Is that mirror in your pocket?" His grin widened.

_Oh no…he couldn't! He wouldn't! _

"Because I can see myself in your pants." Vegeta smirked as Bulma turned bright red.

"You…you…you're a real sleaze bag you know Vegeta?"

"Yeah, I know. But admit it, you love me for it."

"I don't love you!" Bulma turned around and opened the bedroom door, forgetting about Lord Atrium Ventricular in her hurry to get away from Vegeta she stalked out of the room…and screamed. It was the most horrible thing she'd ever seen…the COM screen hadn't done him justice. He was red and slimy and had veins sticking out all over his body.

Of course, it would have been a whole lot more impressive if Count Atrium Ventricular had still had a head…and hadn't been lying in a pool of his own blood.

"Oh…Kami! Vegeta! Vegeta!" Bulma turned and raced back into bedroom…Vegeta was gone. Behind her, the bedroom door slammed and Bulma whirled to face Vegeta, who stood staring at her with feverish eyes.

"C…Count…A…Atrium is dead!" She stammered, backing away from the saiyan.

"I know. He can't breath in oxygenated area's and his planet had a far less pressurised atmosphere then Earths…if I'm corrected his body would have imploded from the pressure." Vegeta continued to advance forward, his chest muscles rippling enticingly as he stalked his blue haired prize.

"Only his head imploded…." Bulma bumped into the bed, a sudden though jolting her out of her fear. "HEY! Are you telling me that you _knew_ he'd die?"

"Of course." Vegeta snorted. "Do you think I would have hidden away instead of fighting if I really though my life was in danger? All this was really just a clever ruse to get myself into your bedroom with you."

"Why you devious little man!" Bulma stepped forward.

"I'm not a man, I'm a saiyan remember?" Vegeta stepped forward at the same time Bulma did and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her body into contact with his; he lowered his head and claimed her mouth with a feverish kiss. Bulma raised her hands to his chest with the intention of pushing him away, but instead somehow when her hands met his burning hot chest, she found herself wrapping her hands around his neck and moaning deep in her throat.

Vegeta easily picked her up and laid her on the bed then crawled over her and lowered his body to hers, Bulma could feel his chest rumbling against hers and realised dimly that he was purring.

_Why am I doing this? He's a bad man…oh damn that feels good!_

Bulma opened her clear blue eyes as Vegeta began to kiss his way down her neck, he reached the fabric of her shirt and growled as he roughly ripped it off then continued kissing his way down her chest, he licked along the contours of her breasts and removed her bra in the same way that he'd removed her shirt. Somewhere in Bulma's mind she wondered what she would wear tomorrow since Vegeta was merrily destroying her only clothes.

Vegeta meanwhile had reached her waist and was slowly pulling her pants off, tugging them off her legs and managing to make the movement sexy somehow; once the pants – and underwear with them - were off he tossed them across the room and crawled back up her body, his breathing now almost ragged.

* * *

***Vegeta Goddess whistles innocently and deletes a tinsy tiny lemon scene***

* * *

Slowly they drifted back from Earth and Bulma felt Vegeta lifted himself off her, freeing her from his weight. He settled down beside her and pulled her body into his arms, licking the sweat off one of her shoulders as he settled down to sleep. Bulma nestled her body into Vegeta's and let out a contented sigh.

Within moments they were both deeply asleep.


	7. Something Something Breasts

Chapter 7

DISCLAIMER: I don't own DBZ…I don't own a monkey either…

**A/N Look - OOOOOOOOOO8D** _(A happy worm!)_

* * *

Vegeta yawned and hugged the warm body next to him closer. Man, he hadn't woke up with a woman since…

Wait.

Oh shit!

OH SHIT!

Vegeta's ebony eyes snapped open and he focused on the slumbering face of Bulma, who lay next to him. An expression that was half fear and half disbelief slowly crept across his face. He couldn't believe that he'd slept with her. Hell, he couldn't believe that the stubborn bloody woman had slept with him! The memories of his torturous days while he had been in heat were only fuzzy memories; he could remember only flashes of the past few days. That was normal of course; being in heat was like being really, really drunk. You lost all inhibitions and all self-control.

But still…he'd slept with the woman?

Vegeta carefully moved her head off his chest and slowly edged across the bed away from her. One thing was for sure; he didn't want to be around when she woke up! He reached the end of the bed and paused as another memory returned to him…oh God! Had he actually used those pick up line on her? She'd never let him live it down; she'd bring it up at every chance and would mock his loss of control around her! She'd probably make up some sort of horrible nick name like…like…he didn't want to think what kind of a name she'd make up for him!

Vegeta closed his eyes as thoughts of the Z gang members laughing at him assaulted his mind; he knew the woman would blab! She'd run straight to Kakarot when they got home, would convince him to first of all kick Vegeta's ass for taking advantage of her and then would embarrass the hell out of him by telling them all the embarrassing things he'd said and done while he was on heat.

So lost in these thoughts of humiliation was Vegeta that he fell off the bed with a thump.

A _loud_ thump!

A thump that was followed by a startled yell by Vegeta, and was more then enough to wake up Bulma, and wake up she did…with a vengeance! She sat up, squealed when she saw Vegeta and wrapped a sheet around herself. "You manipulative little creature!" She hurled a pillow at Vegeta as he picked himself up off the floor. "You tricked me last night! You lied your way into bed! Shame on you Vegeta!" Her blue eyes were practically sparking with anger as she glared daggers at him.

"Oh, do shut up." Vegeta muttered under his breath as he crossed his arms over his chest and stood in front of the woman, unashamed of his nakedness. "Be grateful that I'm off heat now!"

"Oh, I am! But don't think that being grateful is going to be enough to stop me from hurting you!" Bulma tossed her hair over one shoulder and looked upon Vegeta as though he was a bug to be crushed.

Needless to say this behaviour didn't impressive the prince of all saiyans.

"Oh?" Vegeta growled as he walked around the bed to Bulma's side and lent down close to her, his voice a dangerous growl. "And how do you plan to hurt me? You can't use sex to manipulate me anymore! In fact, now I think about it, it's you who should be careful of me! I could kill you out here and space your body and nobody would ever know!"

"You wouldn't!" Bulma breathed, her eyes widening as she realised that she'd lost what little leverage over Vegeta she'd had.

Vegeta brought his face down till it was about a centre metre from hers and laughed. "There are a lot of things I could do to you while we're out here in space." He traced a finger down her arm and lowered his dark head to kiss her again.

Bulma blushed and shoved Vegeta away; "You wouldn't do anything to me, who'd fix the food machine when it gets broken?" Bulma was having a hard time keeping her eyes off Vegeta's body as he stood directly in front of her again. Had he really tried to kiss her then or was she imagining things? Surely he wouldn't force himself upon her?

Vegeta looked at Bulma a little longer before he leant closer to her again. "Normally I wouldn't hurt you, no. But if you piss me off enough Woman, I might do something I'll regret later in a fit of temper." Vegeta moved in a lightning quick movement, pulling Bulma close to him and forcefully kissing her. He abruptly let her go and Bulma fell back to the bed, blushing furiously. "By the way, thanks for last night. You were fun." Vegeta winked at her.

"Bastard! I liked you better when you were on heat." Bulma stood up and slapped Vegeta, actually managing to leave a bright red hand mark on his face. "And if you ever, _ever_ bring up last night again I swear I'll find someway to kill you! Last night was the most degrading experience of my life and I'd rather forget about it!" Bulma almost spat at Vegeta she was in such a temper.

"Degrading?" Vegeta's mouth fell open. "You slept with a Prince and it was degrading? At least I said you were fun!"

Bulma and Vegeta glared at each other angrily, then, against all laws of nature and common sense they moved closer and kissed passionately.

Bulma pulled away first. "That was wrong."

"Very wrong." Vegeta agreed. They stood looking at uneasily each other for a few moments until Vegeta suddenly stepped away. "I'm going to go have a shower."

"Yeah, I'll get breakfast." Bulma and Vegeta hurried away in opposite directions, both of them blushing bright red as they wondered what was going on between them.

Bulma got to the doorway before she realised that she was naked and she turned and hurried back to the bedroom and salvaged what clothes she could from the wreckage of the bedroom. She hurriedly dressed, cursing Vegeta as she threw her ruined bra on the floor and tied her t-shirt around her chest, boob-tube style. Vegeta was going to pay for destroying her clothes! No matter what he did to her in return it would be a small price to pay!

She walked over to the bathroom door and pulled out the small electrical panel by the door and quickly ripped a small red wire out. Now he'd get no hot water – she'd show him who was _fun_! The bastard cool off with a cold shower for a while!

* * *

Vegeta started to wash himself, looking at the fingernail marks that were raked down his chest. He could still feel the woman under him…moaning his name…"No!" Vegeta forcefully shook his head as though shaking the images out. "Don't think about it! It's all over now!"

_But I don't want it to be over…I like her!_

Vegeta ignored the voice in his head as it began to list off the top one hundred reasons why he should seduce Bulma again. He _wasn't _going to seduce her - he didn't even like her! She flirted too much, wore too little and couldn't cook! Sure she could fix all his machines and sure she was good in bed and had been in his dreams for almost two months now…

_No! I will not think about it!_

Vegeta shook his head again, damn! He didn't want to crave the woman like this! It was inconvenient and these sexual craving would get in the way of his training. The water of the shower suddenly turned icy and Vegeta heard a malicious laugh from outside the bathroom door…the woman!

He opened the shower door and leapt out the freezing cascade of water, he threw open the bathroom door and grabbed the woman before she could get more then two steps away. Vegeta pulled her around and was preparing to yell at her when he realised that her 'shirt' had fallen down again and her breasts were pressed against his chest.

Vegeta swallowed hard.

"Woman! You ruined my…breasts…NO! I mean you ruined my shower with all your breasts…NO! You ruined my shower by turning off the hot water and now you're standing here naked and…." Vegeta caught sight of her amused face. "You don't want to know what I was about to say woman."

"I think I _know_ what you were about to say." She leant closer to him, her eyes sparkling with a knowing amusement that irked Vegeta. "You like me don't you? It wasn't just the heat…"

"Shut up!" Vegeta cringed under her gaze – he didn't want to hear the truth!

"I bet you have some sort of perverted saiyan crush…" Bulma continued, her malicious smile widening as Vegeta blushed.

"Shut up!" The saiyan prince tried desperately to wriggle away, but it was hopeless; the woman had her pinned with her endless sky blue eyes.

"Do you looooove me? Do you wanna haaaaave me?" Bulma crooned, determined to embarrass the prudish prince as much as possible.

Vegeta turned red and managed to look away and swallow hard before answering. "Shut up woman!"

"Oh ho! So I was right! You do have some twisted _thing_ for me, huh?"

"Okay, okay, I like you! Not a lot but you are attractive!" Vegeta pouted. "Just don't go thinking that I actually _love_ you! That's a little too far fetched!"

"I wouldn't _dare_ think that Vegeta, don't fret too much over it." Bulma tilted her head to the side. "So you like me huh? Why?"

"What do you mean why?" Vegeta narrowed his eyes, she was trying to trick him somehow, she would get him to admit everything he could and then she'd pounce and would somehow make him seem foolish!

"Why do you like me? Yamcha always said I was 'cute,' what's your excuse?"

"Excuse? I am Vegeta the prince of all saiyans! I do not make excuses! Besides, maybe I agree with your idiotic ex-boyfriend, you are very attractive." Vegeta pushed the woman away suddenly. "I do not like being questioned like this! Just because I find you attractive physically doesn't mean I actually like you in any way!"

"But you just said you liked me!" Bulma's face fell, she was disappointed that Vegeta had given in to her so easily!

"Because you're attractive, I don't actually _like _you in any other sense." Vegeta took a step away when suddenly the computers voice came over the COM line.

**"Warning! Warning! The ship has entered the atmosphere of a planetary body!"**

"What?" Bulma shrieked, bolting out to the main room and looking at the COM screen. The computer had brought up a picture of a green planet; she began typing at the computer and brought up a new screen. "According to the computer the planet has a breathable atmosphere and a tolerable level of gravity…"

"Which planet is it?" Vegeta held onto the chair as their ship was now well and truly heading into the planets cloudy atmosphere and they were being buffeted by the speed of their re-entry.

"I don't know…" Bulma clutched at the arms of the chair. "All I do know is that I have to somehow land this ship in one piece."

"Without a navigation system?" Vegeta looked aghast. "Is that even possible?"

"Possible, but very unlikely." Bulma strapped herself in. "I'm just going to have to fly manually."

Vegeta stood next to her and when Bulma put her hands on the manual control joystick he put his hands over hers. "You won't be strong enough by yourself, you'll need my help."

"Yeah, your right." Bulma tried to calm herself as the pressed the manual control button. "Here we go…"

* * *

A/N – Oooooh…they're going to try to land manually! And Vegeta is still naked! Will they land the ship and survive? Will Vegeta ever get dressed again? You'll have to wait and see what happens in the next chapter!

**(Man...I'm so tempted to make a joystick joke...)**


	8. I Fear Nothing Except Pink Rats

Chapter 8

DISCLAIMER: I don't own DBZ…I don't own a monkey either…

**_A/N – I met Chris Sabat on Saturday at an anime convention! He did Vegeta's voice for me a couple times AAAAND he hugged me...I have photographic proof. Gosh, Vegeta's voice actor...I couldn't get anymore fangirly if I tried!  
_**

* * *

The first thing that Bulma became aware of as she struggled free from unconsciousness was that her head hurt…a lot! She felt like several hundred bad-tempered Australian football players had just kicked her in the head…or as though she'd just crash landed on a strange planet - which she had.

She slowly opened her eyes, everything was all funny looking…very blurry…probably something to do with her sore head. Bulma didn't let it worry her. She couldn't remember all that much about the crash, just that there had been a lot of noise and bright light and then a really_, really_ big bang. She mustered her strength and sat up, a wave of nausea swept through her but she ignored it and concentrated on blinking her eyes until she could see again. She appeared to be in some sort of dark, dank cell and was lying on a wooden bench set into the wall; metal bars surrounded her on three sides. It looked like an incredibly cheery place.

"Great, just what I need, to crash land in some sort of backwater place like this." Bulma eased herself off the bench and looked around for a guard or someone she could talk to. Unfortunately, all Bulma saw was a Vegeta shaped shadow in the corner of her cell and from what she could see he was wearing some very odd clothing indeed.

The saiyan prince was dressed in a forest green cheese cloth shirt and had some worn out looking black leather pants on. He looked good…but it was a shock to see him in clothes other then his training uniform.

"Uh…'Geta? You awake?" Bulma crept towards him.

The Vegeta shaped shadow twitched. "Don't call me 'Geta" It mumbled in her direction.

"Does that mean you're awake?" Bulma crept closer and the Vegeta shaped shadow twitched again.

"No…the rats…the pink rats riding unicycles…they think they're stronger then me! I'll get you Kaka-rat! I'll steal your unicycle!" Vegeta jerked his head sideways. "I always knew that the President was in on it! Well I'll get you! I'll get you all, especially you Kaka-rat!"

Bulma lent down and sighed as she realised Vegeta was unconscious and was ranting wildly in his sleep. He must have hit his head hard judging by the large egg shaped lump on his head that was turning a peculiar shade of green-purple.

"Vegeta! Vegeta wake up!" Bulma pleaded softly as she nudged the slumbering prince with the toe of her…boot? How the hell had she got boots from? For that matter where had Vegeta got his clothes? As far as she knew the last time she'd seen Vegeta he'd been buck-naked…although he might have been wearing his gold tipped boots…he was wearing them now…had he slept with her with his boots on?

Bulma's warped train of thoughts was interrupted as Vegeta jolted awake. "THE RATS!" He screamed and jumped to his feet, breathing hard and looking around wildly.

Bulma raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, those are some bad rats and I've heard the President is in on _it_ too." She rolled her eyes.

"I was…dreaming?" Vegeta looked relieved. "I hate rats."

"So I gathered." Bulma murmured dryly, happy to have the crazed prince awake despite his not-quite-normal demeanour.

"Especially pink rats." Vegeta continued as he looked around, his eyes searching for something. "This places looks like it could be rat infested, we'll have to watch ourselves, rats are cunning little creatures! They ride their unicycles up to you while your back is turned and the next thing you know they're in your hair raising a family and reporting back to the president!"

"Yes…" Bulma agreed gently, taking Vegeta by the shoulders and steering him over to the wooden bench. "You hit your head pretty hard didn't you?"

"Don't patronise me woman! I've read those books; I know what's going on!" Vegeta's eyes were darting wildly around, on the look out for rats Bulma assumed.

"Of course you do." She sat him down and squeezed his shoulders reassuringly.

"There are two things in this world that I fear and one of them is Rats!" Vegeta kept crazily ranting.

"What's the other one?" Bulma asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

"Street preachers." Vegeta shuddered. "They scare me almost as much as rats! What with their black hats and bibles and crosses and abusive manner! Not to mention the nonsense they talk about!" Vegeta looked almost tearful as he relived some sort of traumatic experience he'd had involving street preachers.

Bulma sat down next to him. "Vegeta, I hate to ruin your little rant but what do you remember about the crash?"

"The crash?"

"You know…our spaceship crashed? You got clothed somehow…and now we're in a dungeon?" Bulma shook her head as Vegeta nodded slowly.

"Oh, _that _crash." He shrugged. "Sorry but I can't remember anything either." Vegeta's eyes drifted about the cell and came to rest in the corner where he had been sitting a few moments again, he lent close to Bulma. "Bulma! It's Lucas the incredibly good looking elf! He survived the crash too!" Vegeta sounded absurdly excited by this turn of events!

"What? Oh, not this again!" Bulma moaned, standing up again and rolling her eyes.

"No, I'm serious…see! See! He's waving at you!" Vegeta smiled at his delusion. "Hi Lucas…what's that? It's your birthday? Happy Birthday!" Vegeta looked at Bulma with a cross expression on his face. "Well woman! Say Happy Birthday!"

"Err…happy birthday?" Bulma squinted at the empty corner of the cell that Vegeta was gesturing wildly at.

"That's better! Lucas is happy again." Vegeta grinned merrily.

"That's…great. Really." Bulma paused. "Say Vegeta, do you think you could bend these bars and get us out of here?" She tapped one of the metal bars with her fingernail. "After all, you are a big strong saiyan prince."

Vegeta nodded. "Sure I'll bend the bars…as long as you do something for me later on."

Bulma's eyes narrowed, she knew that tone…"Vegeta…your not in heat _again_ are you?" She groaned aloud as Vegeta nodded.

"To tell you the truth Bulma I never really went off heat." Vegeta smirked and Bulma glared at him.

"But you said that if I slept with you you'd go off heat!"

"Well, I lied to you didn't I?" Vegeta walked up to the bad and looked at Bulma from the corner of his eyes. "I'll go off heat…after a week or so of sex."

"A week?" Bulma's jaw dropped. "A whole freaking week!"

"Oh, come on, like the prospect of a week of saiyan sex doesn't appeal to you." Vegeta grinned. "Don't worry though, after the first night the need to mate slacks off so I'm not going to be quite so…foolish." Vegeta wrenched the bars apart and waved Bulma through the gap. Bulma refrained from commenting on Vegeta's last comment; the man had no idea how foolish he was, even when he wasn't on heat!

"Let's just go Vegeta." She grumpily started walking towards the hole in the bars.

"No, wait for Lucas." Vegeta waited politely by the bars as his imaginary friend apparently walked through.

"You know Vegeta; it's not healthy for a grown saiyan like you to have imaginary…" Bulma was cut off as an invisible force slammed into her and knocked her to the ground just as she was about to walk through the hole in the bars.

Vegeta helped her stand up and whispered to her; "Sorry about Lucas slamming into you, I don't think he meant to do it."

"Lucas…is…is…real?" Bulma's eyes rolled up into her head and she fainted into Vegeta's arms.

The deranged saiyan prince looked at Lucas the incredibly good looking elf and shrugged. "She isn't the most fearless of people."

**"So I noticed."** Lucas the incredibly good looking elf smiled evilly.** "Don't worry though my saiyan friend,"** He smirked evilly.** "She'll soon get used to me eventually." **The extremely god looking elf tossed his head back and chuckled eerily.


	9. Not Runnning Away Just Leaving In A Hurr...

Chapter 9

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own DBZ…I don't own a monkey either…**

**A/N : - ############8** _(hairy, many legged caterpillar)_

* * *

Bulma woke up to find Vegeta leaning over her, a smirk on his devilishly handsome face. "Wakie, wakie woman." He helped her sit up. "Feeling better?"

Bulma nodded. "I feel better but I had the strangest dream…well it was more of a nightmare really, we'd crashed landed on another planet and you were delusional and…" Bulma looked around her at the rocky landscape with bright red sand and a cheery green sky and closed her eyes again. "Oh…it wasn't a nightmare was it? It was real?"

"Afraid so." Vegeta pulled her to her feet. "Don't worry though, we'll be leaving soon." He nodded almost reassuringly.

Bulma appeared not to have heard him as she gazed suspiciously around her. "If this isn't a dream that means he'd real! _Lucas is real_!" She shrieked in alarm, not best pleased to discover that Vegeta's delusion had somehow come to life!

"Of course he is." Vegeta scoffed. "Didn't I tell you he was cunning and wily?"

Bulma moved closer to Vegeta. "Where is he now? What's he doing?"

"I don't know where he is, he wandered off about an hour ago." Vegeta resisted the urge to pull the woman closer to him. "But I wouldn't worry about him, we have bigger problems."

Bulma blew a strand of hair out of her eyes and sighed. "Vegeta, we're stuck on another planet with an invisible elf...what could be bigger than that?"

"The guards armed with swords standing behind you." Vegeta gestured for her to turn around.

Bulma slowly spun around and found four guards standing behind her; they had moved up behind her so stealthily and quickly that she hadn't heard them move. She moved even closer to Vegeta. "Will they hurt us?" She whispered.

Vegeta shrugged. "The don't look like an incredibly cruel race of people, we might get lucky and not be killed."

The guards all smiled at Vegeta's comment and spoke monotonously in unison. "Indeed we are not a cruel people, but do not bet on not losing your lives just yet, it is for our king to decide what shall become of you."

"Great, another king." Bulma shrugged as the guards moved closer and motioned for her and Vegeta to follow them. As they walked Bulma couldn't help but hum the Barney and Friends theme song – irritating Vegeta took her mind off the danger of her imminent situation.

* * *

The king was not what she had expected. He looked just as human as the other inhabitants of the planet, except for his eyes. They were the most beautiful eyes Bulma had ever seen. They were an iridescent blue-green colour that seemed to glow with power. As soon as Bulma had seen the king she had immediately began to subconsciously flirt, fluffing up her hair, pursing her lips and giving him smoldering looks from under her eyes lashes.

Vegeta of course was less then happy to find Bulma acting this way towards another man. Unlike the woman, he could sense that the king secreted some sort of pheromone that made him attractive to others. He wasn't worried so much with Bulma's flirting though, what really worried him was the appraising look the king was giving Bulma, almost as if he owned her and was contemplating how good she'd be in bed.

For some reason the look bothered Vegeta.

"May I present his liege, King Sanjo of the planet Meridian." The guard bowed and a gong was hit off to the side. Bulma snapped out of her flirting long enough to raise one eyebrow and exchange a '_look_'with Vegeta.

"A gong, huh? This must be important." Bulma muttered under her breath to Vegeta. The saiyan managed to hide the smile that threaten to spill across his face at Bulma's sarcastic remark. The woman could be quite acerbic at times...he was finding he liked it when it wasn't aimed at him.

"And who," The king sauntered down the stairs, his eyes feasting on Bulma's every feature. "Might this delectable creature be?" He nodded at Bulma.

Vegeta fought the urge to punch the king.

Bulma giggled and held out a hand for King Sanjo to kiss. "I am Bulma Briefs, the daughter of a rich and respected citizen of the planet Earth."

Vegeta fought the urge to punch Bulma.

"Planet Earth?" The king seemed to contemplate this for a moment. "I don't seem to recall ever hearing of a planet Earth." He turned his eyes onto Vegeta. "And you are?"

Somehow Vegeta didn't think that King Sanjo would kiss his hand.

"Prince Vegeta of the planet Vegeta." Vegeta drew himself up to his full height and glared dangerously at the king who was staring at him in shock.

"Prince Vegeta? Of the planet Vegeta you say?" King Sanjo looked Vegeta up and down. "I seem to remember hearing a rumour that your planet had been destroyed."

"It was."

The King gave him a mocking glance and turned his attention back to Bulma. "Well, I shall have to be a good host and offer you both our hospitality until we can get you another ship."

"Oh, thank you." Bulma stared spellbound into his glowing eyes. "That would be nice." She giggled.

Vegeta fought the urge to clunk King Sanjo and Bulma's heads together.

"I shall arrange you a room in the east wing, near _my _room." The king winked at Bulma and a vein popped out in Vegeta's forehead at the blatant sexual look on the King was giving _his_ chosen mate.

"I assume that I would also be staying in her room, considering that I am her mate." Vegeta clenched a hand into a fist as the king dragged his gaze away from Bulma.

"Her mate?" King Sanjo seemed surprised and unhappy.

"Your mate?" Bulma seemed just as surprised but not quite as unhappy. "Just because I slept with you doesn't make me your mate."

Vegeta frowned at her, didn't she realise that unless she kept him close the king would undoubtedly sneak into her room at night and…

"Well, Prince Vegeta." King Sanjo smirked. "It seems that your lady friend does not wish for your company, don't worry, I'll arrange a room for you in the _west_ wing."

Vegeta glared at the king. "I think not. My _lady friend_ hit her head rather hard when we crash landed; she most likely doesn't remember that we are full mates." The lie easily slipped off Vegeta tongue, and to his surprise the idea of being the woman's full mate didn't fill him with horror at all, in fact he rather liked the idea of the woman being his.

King Sanjo turned back to Bulma and raised a hand to trace along her jaw, Bulma lent into his touch and closed her eyes, Sanjo turned his head back to look at Vegeta. "Whether or not she is your mate my saiyan friend, makes little difference to me. She is already mine and since I like her, I shall take her."

Vegeta stepped forward and slapped Sanjo's hand away from Bulma's face. "I think, King Sanjo, that perhaps is would be wise for Bulma and I to leave, I'm sure that you have heard of the awesome fighting power of the saiyans, and I'm also sure that you don't want to get you planet into any…trouble."

King Sanjo narrowed his iridescent eyes. "You do not scare me, Prince Vegeta, but since you seem abnormally protective over this woman, and since you have outright challenged my power we shall have a contest. If you win then you may take your woman and leave. If I win then I will keep the woman and you will be put to death."

Vegeta considered this. "I'll agree to this on two conditions. Firstly you must get rid of that pheromone you are producing so that Bulma will be able to think for herself, secondly you must show me the space craft we can leave in so I know you are telling the truth."

The king grinned. "Those conditions are easily met."

* * *

Bulma was not happy.

She was sitting on a rock and watching Vegeta and King Sanjo warm up. They were going to fight over her. And although usually Bulma wouldn't have minded having two gorgeous men fighting over her the thought of losing Vegeta was troubling.

Wait…did she just call Vegeta gorgeous?

Wait…did she just admit that she didn't want him to lose and be put to death?

"It's the sun; the sun's getting to me, making me delusional." Bulma mumbled to herself and glared up at the blue sun in the sky. She looked back at her two suitors and bit her lip nervously. As soon as the King had stopped producing his _'woman-attracting-smell-thing'_, as Bulma had christened it, she had been grateful to Vegeta for stopping her from doing something she would have regretted with the King. Sure he was good looking, but he was also an alien, an alien she didn't know and who seemed incredibly sleazy.

Near Bulma's rock sat the space craft that, if Vegeta won, they would be leaving in. Bulma didn't want to admit it, but the spacecraft was much better then the one she had been built. She was almost jealous of King Sanjo' technology.

"Ready to fight?" King Sanjo's voice brought Bulma's attention back to the two warriors.

Vegeta was in his fighting stance and was smirking his famous smirk. "Of course I am."

King Sanjo bowed; Vegeta ignored the bow and sneered, then with a yell from both warriors they began to fight.

Bulma shrieked and moved away as they both shot up into the air, fighting hand to hand. King Sanjo broke away and seemed to be beginning some sort of an energy attack when Vegeta disappeared and reappeared above him, bringing his hands down on top of his head and sending the blond king sailing into the ground - creating a crater that stretched right to Bulma's feet from the force of his landing.

She shrieked when Vegeta appeared beside her and grabbed her into his arms. "Come on, were leaving before he wakes up."

"You? Running from a fight?" Bulma wriggled as Vegeta practically threw her inside the ship and started the engines.

"I'm not running away." Vegeta defended himself. "I'm simply leaving in a hurry."


	10. A Bad Line From A Bad Porn Movie!

Chapter 10

DISCLAIMER: I don't own DBZ…I don't own a monkey either…or a goat :(

* * *

"Vegeta, why did you run away back there?" Bulma peered anxiously at the saiyan Prince who had blasted out of the planet Meridians atmosphere as if his life had depended on it. Even now, as they were leaving the solar system and were on there was home he was still nervously glancing about.

"It was that that king!" Vegeta spluttered indignantly.

"What about the king?" Bulma prompted tiredly, sick of Vegeta's outbursts.

"He was realising pheromones at me!" Vegeta shuddered. "His species…they can release pheromones that not only attract other females but also other males! I think the king realised he couldn't beat me so he started…" Vegeta reddened. "I would have remained back there to fight but I was afraid I might have done…_stuff_…with the king."

Bulma snorted with laughter. "Are you telling me that as you and the king were fighting he was actually doing to you what he did to me?" Vegeta nodded and Bulma laughed harder. "He tried to seduce you!"

Vegeta shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "I never, ever want to feel that way about a man again!"

Bulma laughed harder.

"Woman! Stop that laughter! It wasn't funny!" Vegeta's voice rose with his threat.

Bulma laughed even harder, tears starting to trickle down her cheeks, she laughed so hard. She tried to calm down and stand up but her legs gave way and she fell to the floor hooting with laughter. "You…and another…guy…." Bulma's laughter finally wound down. "I'm sorry…'Geta…"

"Don't call me 'Geta." Vegeta snapped childishly, unhappy with the unfamiliar feelings that were stirring in his stomach.

"It's just the images I had in my head…" Bulma started laughing again and unsteadily made her way to the bedroom, closing the door behind her. Vegeta glared at the door; even though it was closed he could still here the woman laughing in there. The door opened again, Bulma peeked out the door at Vegeta, pointed her finger at him and laughed harder then disappeared back inside again.

_Was she making fun of me?_ Vegeta wondered, agitatedly standing up, he'd show the woman who the laughable one was!

He strode to the door and opened it; Bulma was sitting on the bed, still laughing. He crossed the room but stopped suddenly when he got close to her…what the hell was he planning on doing with her? He couldn't beat her up; she'd just whinge at him then and would torture him the rest of the way home.

"Hey, Vegeta?" Bulma had finally stopped laughing. "I have to say that it is impressive that even though you're still in heat you managed to keep your own mind while you were fighting the King."

"I'm not in heat." Vegeta closed his eyes and winced at the expected shriek came form her mouth.

"_WHAT?_ WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT IN HEAT! YOU SAID YOU WERE!" Bulma's screams vibrated painfully in Vegeta's ears.

"I lied." Vegeta said calmly, slowly backing for the door. Damn, he shouldn't have admitted the truth to her.

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU LIE TO ME?" Bulma's eyes suddenly rounded. "You…you lied to get me into bed again didn't you?"

"Well…yes." Vegeta winced as Bulma shrieked again. "JUST SHUP UP, WOMAN!" He roared at her, determined to forestall another one of her painful screeches.

Bulma closed her mouth and sulkily looked up at him. "Fine, make your excuse."

"I won't lie to you Bulma, I did was trying to get you into bed, but I had a good reason! It was just that…" Vegeta hesitated and then continued. "I was lonely and I thought that if I convinced you to sleep with me for a week it might make things easier…" Vegeta, realising that telling the truth wasn't getting him anywhere switched back to lying again. "Lucas made me! I swear it's true! It was that damned incredibly good looking elf!"

Bulma looked unimpressed. "That's the best you could come up with? I was at least expecting a realistic lie!"

"Like what?" Vegeta stopped mid rant and sat next to her on the bed. "What kind of excuse had you bought?"

"Well, you could have blamed it on your concussion, or you could have said that you were very, very lonely and you needed to be close to me but didn't think that if you admitted that to me I would let you close so you felt you had to lie." Bulma took a deep breath. "There are countless excuses I would have bought, but instead you chose to tell the truth and then to tell a completely stupid lie that I wouldn't buy even if I had the money to buy it with."

Vegeta blinked, the woman wasn't making sense.

Bulma sighed. "You know Vegeta; if you weren't such a sadistic, lying, cheating, weaseling, dishonest bastard I'd probably like you." Bulma flopped back against the bed. "But you are what you are." There was a note of sadness in her voice that made Vegeta's stomach twist again.

Vegeta nodded. "Yeah, I am a low life aren't I?" he watched the woman, sensing that she needed to talk and also sensing that if she talked she'd get emotional and he might get his chance to seduce her back into bed again. "You know, you've mentioned a few times now that your weakling boyfriend, Yamcha, did something that hurt you." Vegeta gave Bulma the opening she needed to let out one of the darkest secrets she was privy to.

"Have I?" Bulma closed her eyes, then opened them – her big baby blues shimmering with tears. "He…he…oh God, Vegeta! He did something totally unforgivable!"

"He cheated on you?" Vegeta guessed, knowing full well that Yamcha had cheated on Bulma several times since he had moved into capsule corporation. The pathetic excuse for a man was too stupid to realise that Vegeta could smell other women on him.

"Of course he did! But that's not what he did that really upset me." Bulma took a deep breath. "I went over Yamcha's house to surprise him on his birthday…but apparently his other lover had as well."

"You…walked in on them?" Vegeta inwardly cringed knowing how traumatic that must have been to Bulma.

"Yes!" Bulma burst into tears. "It was so horrible! Yamcha and…. Tien!" Bulma gasped out Yamcha's lovers name as though it was acid on her tongue.

"Yamcha and Tien…_TIEN?"_ Vegeta spluttered and balked. "He's gay?"

"No, Yamcha isn't gay." Bulma sniffed. "He's just…" A few more tears squeezed themselves out of her eyes. "He…well, to quote from Yamcha, 'plays for both teams.'" Bulma moaned. "But the worst part was that Yamcha and Tien invited me to join them! It was…was…"

"Sickening?" Vegeta slotted in gently.

"Yes! It was like some bad line from a bad porn movie."

Vegeta nodded sympathetically. He'd watched many bad porn movies since coming to Earth.

**(A/N - Hey you didn't think Vegeta trained all the time did you? ^-^)**

Bulma sniffed some more. "He wasn't even apologetic about it; he acted like it was my fault for not understanding him! He started going on about how much he loved me and didn't want to lose me, and when I told him that if he had really loved me he wouldn't haven cheated on me, he…he got mad and…"

Vegeta felt himself stiffen. "He did what to you?" Had the weakling hit Bulma? Had he dared lay a hand on the fragile female who Vegeta was lusting after despite himself?

"He threw me out of his apartment and told me that he had thought I'd understand! He said that if I couldn't accept his love for Tien then I couldn't be apart of his life anymore." Bulma sniffed again. "It was horribly embarrassing."

Vegeta let out a sigh of relief, for a moment he really had thought that Yamcha had hit her or done something worse to the woman. Vegeta looked down at Bulma's tear stained face and inwardly smirked, now was his chance. The woman was emotionally vulnerable!

"You know, Bulma." Vegeta weaseled softly. "I'd never cheat on you." He looked down at her with as blank a face as he could muster. "If you give me, _us_, a chance you might find that we work well together."

"Vegeta…" Bulma trailed off and sat up. "Are you asking me to embark on a sexual affair with you that can, and will, most likely have a devastating effect on both of us emotionally?"

"Well, yes." Vegeta grinned. "I mean, it would be a purely physical relationship, but I wouldn't desert you for Tien." Vegeta shuddered at the very thought.

"Of course.' Bulma repeated slowly, letting the possibilities sweep through her mind. An affair with the arrogant saiyan prince…it certainly would be interesting.

"You have already slept with me once remember….hey! Wait a moment!" Vegeta's eyes widened and he looked down at Bulma a slightly sleazy grin forming on his face. "Tell me woman, why did you sleep with me?"

"Well…I…err…" Bulma hesitated then grinned. "Lucas made me do it…" Vegeta frowned at her, not understanding Bulma's warped sense of humour. "Okay, okay, I was scared for my life…oh wait I slept with you after the count had died, didn't I?" Bulma blushed.

"Well, I'm waiting? What's your excuse?" Vegeta impatiently crossed his legs.

"I was…umm…suffering from post stress disorder, yeah, I slept with you while I was in a state of…umm…madness…"

"Now look who's telling lies." Vegeta grinned and leaned closer, lowering his voice a sexy growl. "Do you think I'm sexy woman? Does you little heart go bumpity-bump when I get close to you?" He moved closer and rubbed his face against hers. "Do I make you tremble with excitement?"

Bulma swallowed hard and realised that somewhere along the line she _had_ fallen for Vegeta. She didn't love him or anything quite as drastic as that, but there was something in her that squirmed around and made her stomach feel like it was full of butterflies when Vegeta was close to her.

"Vegeta…" Bulma lent up close and kissed the corner of his mouth; she took his head in her hands and brought it down so she could more firmly kiss him on the mouth, not a passionate free for all kiss, but a sweet almost innocent sort of kiss. The kind of kiss that the boy next door gives you when you're playing 'mommies and daddies' as ten years olds.

Vegeta seemed a little shocked, but then slowly and carefully he began to kiss her back, never changing the pace of the kiss, seemingly content to just sit there and hold Bulma while their gently kiss stretched on and on.

"Vegeta…" Bulma moaned again and pulled an inch back so she could focus on his obsidian eyes. "If I do get involved with you, will you promise me, nay, swear to me on your life that you won't cheat on me, or hurt me?"

Vegeta looked back at her with an unwavering gaze. "Woman, as long as you're my devoted servant I'll be yours in return, and I'll _never_ break your heart."

* * *

**A/N – I would just like to state that I have nothing against bisexuals or homosexual – many of my friends re bi or gay. Whatever makes you happy people! I'm all for happiness! I just love the ol' Yamcha/Tien stereotype :D  
**


	11. I Can't Lie!

Chapter 11

DISCLAIMER: I don't own DBZ or a monkey, and I don't own the quotes that I stole from Dusk till Dawn or Liar Liar either...an yes, I appropriated a whoooole heap of stuff for this chapter!

* * *

Bulma felt her eyes mist up. "That so sweet!" She gushed. "Nobody's ever said anything so romantic, so sensitive so…so…so loving to me before!" She barely restrained herself from throwing her arms around Vegeta's neck.

Vegeta spluttered and pulled away from Bulma and began to pace the floor.

_Sweet?_

_Romantic?_

_Sensitive?_

_Loving?_

"Woman, I'm not anything of those things! It may have sounded sweet and maybe even a little romantic but it wasn't sensitive and it definitely wasn't loving in the least!" Vegeta came to a stop in front of Bulma and looked at her earnestly. "Don't go putting labels on what I want to have with you. I don't want to marry you or have children with you or anything like that. I just want to have a nice long sexual affair."

"Okay, okay…I wasn't actually calling you anything of those things, it was just the way you said it. It sounded so un-Vegeta like." Bulma stood up to and glared at Vegeta, angry that he had responded so coldly. "You know, I don't know what I was thinking by even considering having some sort of affair with you! You're rude, arrogant and you always spoil moments by opening your big mouth!"

"Bulma I…" Vegeta, seeing his chance at getting Bulma into bed slipping away scrambled for an excuse to make her stay with him. "…I was just…" Vegeta eyes widened as an idea hit him. "I was just afraid that you would mistake what I was saying and get hurt. I'm not saying I don't care for you, I mean I've saved your life several times, I'm just saying that I don't love you and I didn't want you going and falling for me when the feelings weren't going to be reciprocated."

Bulma stared at him for a heartbeat. "You made that up then did you."

Vegeta stared at Bulma and opened his mouth to deny it. "Yes."

_What was wrong with him? He couldn't lie to her anymore?_

"You just want to con me into bed again don't you?"

Once again Vegeta tried to deny it. "Yes."

_What the hell? Why couldn't he lie?_

"Well forget you then! You'll just have to get better acquainted with Mr. Hand!" Bulma turned and strode angrily from the room. Vegeta watched her go, the minute the door shut he had a little spas attack on the floor, silently cursing himself. Why couldn't he lie? What had happened? Vegeta looked at the bed cover; it was a dark red colour.

"The bed spread is coloured…bllll…red! NO! No no no no! It's not red it's...b…b…. blllllllluuuuuured!" Vegeta stared at his reflection in the mirror over the bed. "You can't lie! I mean _I_ can't lie!" Vegeta screamed in frustration and began punching the bed in front of him.

* * *

Bulma raised an eyebrow at the bedroom door as she heard Vegeta shout something about the bed-spread being red, then she heard several thumps and crashes that cold only mean Vegeta was trashing the room. He sounded angry for some reason…not that that was unusual for Vegeta, but he usually only got cranky around mealtimes.

**"Warning. Warning. A Space Anomaly Has Been Detected."**

The computers voice boomed over the intercom, unlike Bulma's ship this one had a male voice with a slight accent.

"Computer, what is the anomaly?" Bulma sat down in the pilot's chair and began pressing buttons that would bring up the viewing screen.

**"The Anomaly Is A Field Of Highly Charged Energy That Could Possibly Create Problems With The Humanoid Cerebrum."**

"What does that mean in lay-man terms?" Bulma shouted, frustrated, at the foreign computer. The computer was silent for several seconds.

**"The Field Of Energy Surrounding The Unknown Anomaly Could Cause Some Interference In the Brain."**

"Oh…err…thanks computer." Bulma replotted their course to steer around the anomaly then paused and brought the computer back on line. "What kinds of interference might it cause?" Bulma decided that whatever this anomaly was doing it probably wasn't going to be nice.

**"It Is Possible That It Might Cause Speech Problems, Some Motor Control Loss and It Might Affect The Area Of The Brain Responsible For Lying."**

Bulma raised her eyebrow again, a gesture she was doing more and more lately. "You mean to tell me that this energy might cause Vegeta and I to lose our ability to talk, move and lie?"

**"That Is Correct, But The Effects Would Not Last For Long, Perhaps A Few Hours to a Week."**

"Oh man…_oh shit_." Bulma looked horrified as she shut the computer down, her mind full of horribly images of her not being able to yell at Vegeta, or not being able to get away from Vegeta when he pissed her off, or worse yet, not being able to lie to him!

At that moment Vegeta opened the door and walked out casually, Bulma caught only a glimpse of the wrecked room he came out of before he shut the door behind himself and cleared his throat. "I heard the computer, what's up?"

Bulma narrowed her eyes, he was acting suspicious again. "We crossed paths with some kind of energy that could possibly take away out ability to speak, move and lie. Has anything strange been happening to you?" She arched her eyebrow questioningly at the prince.

"Nnnnn…yes!" Vegeta looked pained, in fact Bulma could have sworn that he looked almost ready to cry.

"What?" She questioned him further.

Vegeta looked shifty for a second. "What, what?"

"What been happening to you?"

"Noooottthiiii…I can't lie!" Vegeta collapsed on the ground. "Oh, I can't lie!" He wailed.

"Really?" Bulma perked up then hesitated, maybe she couldn't lie either then. "Vegeta is wearing a shirt that is pink." Bulma looked at Vegeta forest green shirt and shrugged. "I can still lie."

"It isn't fair! Why am I affected and your not? Oh this is horrible!" Vegeta looked on the verge of tears as he suddenly began to answer his own rhetorical question. "It's only just! It's the world having a laugh on me for once because I'm a bad, bad man!"

"Hey Vegeta?" Bulma came and sat down next to him. "Do you really like me?"

"Yes." Vegeta looked miserable knowing that Bulma could ask him anything and he had to answer.

"Do you find me really sexy?"

"Yes."

"How sexy?"

"You're sexier then any living creature I've ever seen, you're so sexy that being in the same room with you is a turn on." Vegeta looked even closer to tears; his eyes begged her not to ask anything else. But Bulma wasn't deterred.

"Why did you tell the king I was your mate back on planet Meridian?"

"Because I was jealous of the way you acted around him, and I didn't want you to go off with him and forget about me." Vegeta looked angry now. "In fact I could have killed him for looking at you like that!"

"Wow." Bulma flopped onto the floor next to Vegeta. "That's really nice to know."

Vegeta mumbled something under his breath.

"So tell me Vegeta, do you…" She hesitated. "Do you love me?" Bulma held her breath and waited for his answer.

Vegeta had both hands over his mouth, his face was turning slightly red and the vein in his forehead which popped out when he was angry was popping out, Bulma watched with interest as he fought not to tell her the answer, "I… I…I…I'm not telling you!" Vegeta blinked, he hadn't told her! "I am wearing a pink shirt! Ha ha! I can lie again! It's over!" Vegeta laughed with glee. "Oh thank God."

Bulma watched him and tried to open her mouth the say something…but she couldn't move! Or speak! _Oh Shit_, Bulma thought as Vegeta looked down at her and smirked.

"As for you woman…"

* * *

Vegeta put Bulma down on the bed. "I hope this isn't going to be permanent." Bulma tried to tell him it would wear off but she still couldn't move or talk. "Then again, this could be fun." Vegeta lent down over her. "I mean, I have you here on a bed, and you can't move…"

_He wouldn't!_ Bulma wished she could widen her eyes and looked panicked.

Vegeta lent down and gently kissed her neck; he drew in her scent and licked along her jaw. "You smell nice…and you taste nice…have I ever told you that? Oh, probably not, it's hard to get a word in edgewise while your around with that mouth of yours." Vegeta's eye gazed out her mouth. "Such a pretty mouth, it's amazing that it looks so good considering how much it gets used."

Bulma wished she could ask him what he meant…did he mean that in a derogatory sexual way or did he mean she talked a lot?

This was _not_ fair.

Vegeta meanwhile was kissing her gently on the lips; his hand had slipped down to her waist. "Don't worry woman." He sat up again. "I'm not going to do anything to you. I might be bastard, but I'm not a _fucking_ bastard."

Bulma would have liked to argue that point but she still couldn't move.

Vegeta lay down net to her and snuggled up close, pulling his head on her chest. "Only one bed, and since you can't yell at me to make me leave I guess I'll just stay in here with you tonight." He hugged her closer to him. "I'm so sleepy." Vegeta yawned, and pulled the covers up over the two of them. "Get better by morning woman; I don't want to be stuck on this space ship with out having somebody to argue with." Within a few moments Vegeta was asleep, Bulma wasn't far behind him, drifting off into snooze land herself a few moments after him.

* * *

When Bulma woke in the morning she and Vegeta were tangled together like two puppies. She made a fist with one hand and breathed a sigh of relief to be able to move again. The she closed her eyes and snuggled up to Vegeta warm body again, content to share her bed with her Prince.

Vegeta, smirked in his sleep and pulled Bulma closer, had Bulma still been awake she would had been amazed to hear what came out of him mouth as he snuggled down again her.

"Love you too, Bulma."


	12. Pillow Talk

Chapter 12

DISCLAIMER: I don't own DBZ…I don't own a monkey either…

**a/n - *Does the author dance of OOCness and waves***

* * *

When Bulma woke up it was still dark inside the ship, the one window that was in the tiny bedroom allowed a small amount of starlight into the room, but not much. In the silvery gloom Bulma could just make out Vegeta's face a few inches from her own. His breath was warm on her skin and Bulma felt her body tingle to life as she watched him sleep. His face was so angular and angry and yet so masculine and warm at the same time. She knew that she could no longer deny how attracted she was to him - not just to his amazing body which she could remember in great detail, but also to him; Vegeta.

She loved his mocking look, his argumentative tone, his cockiness; she even loved his smirk…love? Yes, she loved him and she didn't even know when she had fallen for him.

Vegeta's eyes opened as if he was aware of her scrutiny and in return he gazed back at her and Bulma instantly recognised the fiery look he gave her. Vegeta could deny it all he liked, but he _loved_ her in return. Bulma could see it in the way his eyes swept across her face and the way the look he gave her almost caressed her skin. He had fallen for her well and truly, only his saiyan pride stood in the way of him openly accepting his emotions.

Which was a pity.

Bulma slowly, hesitantly inched closed to Vegeta until her lips hovered above his. Vegeta closed the distance between them and placed a feathery light kiss on her lips, then another on each side of her mouth. One of his hands moved down to rest on her waist and the other reached over her to gently stroke her hair. Bulma's eyes drifted shut and she let out a small sigh as Vegeta's hand slipped along the waistband of her pants and undid the button at the front. She opened her eyes as he sat up and looked down at her; he kissed her forehead and then slowly tugged her pants off, his eyes devouring every inch of her legs that were exposed as he rid her of her jeans and the small scrap of underwear she had on.

Bulma swallowed as his hand trailed up a long thigh and slowly stroked up her stomach till he reached her shirt and removed it in the same slow and gently way, his hands undressing her as if he were unwrapping a delicate present. Bulma's blue eyes met his shadowed dark ones and she sat up and wrapped her arms around him. Vegeta dropped his head to her shoulder and let her hold him; Bulma rested her head on his, enjoying the silence of their lovemaking.

Her hands slowly found their way to the bottom of his shirt and she pulled back far enough to begin undoing the buttons, aware of Vegeta watching her face as she undressed him. Button by button she undid his shirt and then pushed it off onto the bed. She let her eyes roam over Vegeta's perfect chest, his toned muscles rippling as he rolled his shoulders. She ran her fingers down the muscled perfection of his chest and let the tips of her nails dance against his skin as she leaned forward to kiss his neck and shoulders.

She bit her lip again as she let her hands wander lower and she began to unlace his leather pants, her movements as slow and as purposeful as her saiyan lovers had been. Vegeta lay down on the bed and watched Bulma with fascination as she slowly peeled his pants off, a tip of her small pink tongue poking from the corner of her mouth as she concentrated of ridding him of his final piece of clothing.

"You're beautiful." Vegeta murmured suddenly to her as Bulma lay down next to him and let him take her into his arms, relishing the heat of their skin-to-skin contact. His comment was unexpected and Bulma blinked in surprise.

"You're beautiful too." She told him honestly – meaning what she said. At that moment Vegeta was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, his body bathed in the starlight as he pulled her on top of her and looked up at her with those endless black eyes of his, the twin black orbs seeing straight through her; seeing her strengths and her weaknesses and loving everything that they saw.

* * *

**A/N - Lalala...nothing to see here. Certainly not another teeny tiny lemon which I edited out! Email me if you want the full version!**

* * *

Vegeta lay still for several minutes; listening to his mate's heart beat in her chest, listening to her soft breathing. He pulled her hair away from her face and looked down into those blue eyes of hers that had captured him so long ago. "You're perfect." He told her as he kissed her forehead and slowly moved Bulma off him and moved himself down till he could rest his head on her chest.

Her small hands played with his hair as they both retreated into the own thoughts, knowing that the time to talk would come later and enjoying the silence and warmth of their companionship for the time being.

* * *

"What was your planet like?" Bulma asked Vegeta as she lent against the headboard of the bed and looked at her new mate as he lazed on the pillow next to her like a big cat, yawning and stretching.

"It was a big place, or so it seemed to be as a child." Vegeta looked thoughtful and moved closer to Bulma. He put his head on her stomach and continued, being open and direct with Bulma for the first time since well, since ever. "It was busy and noisy and there was always something happening. Always some fight or some big military leader coming or going. I was pretty much allowed to come and go as I pleased as a child, but I spent most my time training with Nappa or my father. Occasionally my father took me with him on purging missions." Bulma watched as Vegeta smiled faintly. "I used to love wowing the other saiyan officers with my power."

"I'll bet you did." Bulma stroked his hair again, feeling a sense of regret that Vegeta's entire life had been build around how much power he had. "You don't exactly seem like the shy and quiet type."

Vegeta chuckled, his black eyes shining as he contemplated his childhood memories. "Not really. Being angry and prideful was more my forte, but then considering that my father raised me that isn't much of a surprise, he wasn't exactly a ray of sunshine himself."

"What happened to your mother?" Bulma asked gently. She'd always been curious about Vegeta's parents but he so rarely opened up that she'd felt asking him about it would be a breech of his secrecy.

For a moment Bulma didn't think Vegeta would answer, then he looked at her a little sadly. "She died when I was young." He looked away, perhaps re-living the pain of his mothers death perhaps because the subject was distasteful for him, Bulma didn't know...but she was curious nonetheless.

"How?" Bulma massaged the back of Vegeta's neck.

"She just got sick, none of the doctors knew what was wrong with her and eventually she died." Vegeta shrugged. "I don't remember her; I only know what my father told me about her. What about you, woman? What was your childhood like?"

Bulma smiled as Vegeta's tactful subject change. "It was pretty much one adventure after another. Goku and Krillen and I used to have all sorts of fun fighting the Red Ribbon Army." She smiled faintly. "Then we all just grew apart and grew up. It wasn't until the re-union when Raditz showed up that I saw any of my old friends again."

"Did you miss them?" Vegeta seemed curious.

"I missed Goku and Krillen. But Master Roshi I could have done with out meeting again, and Yamcha and I had been on and off even after the gang drifted apart." Bulma yawned. "But…yeah I missed them. I missed the adventure."

Vegeta sat up and moved next to her. "Bulma…when we get back to Earth what's going to happen?"

"What do you mean?" Bulma raised her eyebrows and looked at the spiky haired man next to her.

"With us. What's going to happen to us? Are we going to tell your friends about us or are you going to end it before we get back?" Vegeta seemed nervous now. Perhaps he wasn't quite as out of tune with his emotions as Bulma had thought. Then again it was dangerous to assume anything with Vegeta.

"Of course we'll tell them about us, I'm not embarrassed…are you?" Bulma watched his face carefully but Vegeta's face was a blank mask.

"No." Vegeta _seemed_ content now and pulled her against him. "Do you want me to beat up your weakling ex?" He brightened at the thought of a fight and his black mask was replaced by a bloodthirsty look that shook Bulma to the core.

"Mmm." Bulma thought about it. "If he annoys you then go for it but don't go looking for a fight." She prayed that Yamcha wouldn't provoke Vegeta – he was more dangerous then the ex-bandit knew.

Vegeta raised his eyebrows and trolled his eyes. "Well considering that being in the same room with the weakling annoys me I guess I can look forward to a nice Yamcha beating when I get home."

"You called it home." Bulma looked at him in amazement. "You actually called Earth home!"

Vegeta felt a smile tug at the corner of his mouth. "Home is where your heart is Bulma."


	13. Vegeta's Voyage Trip Out City!

Chapter 13

DISCLAIMER: I don't own DBZ…I don't own a monkey either…

* * *

"Vegeta! Vegeta!" Bulma nudged the saiyan awake as something under the sheets brushed against her thigh. "Wake up! There's something in the bed!" She urged her mate awake.

"What?" Vegeta sleepily rubbed his face. "What's in the bed?" He slurred tiredly, half opening his eyes.

"There's some sort of animal in the bed…" Bulma began to tell Vegeta but he interrupted her, misinterpreting what she was saying.

"Oh Bulma, not now! I'm too sleepy to have sex with you again." The saiyan rolled over and closed his eyes again, a single snore indicating that he'd fallen asleep again.

"Vegeta!" Bulma angrily nudged him awake yet again. "I'm not kidding! There's something in the bed! It's small and furry!" She hissed in his ear, this time Vegeta bolted upright.

He turned back around to face her with wide eyes. "A rat?" he asked shakily.

"I don't know but…Aaaaaah! There it is again!" Bulma shrieked as something furry touched her leg. It was warm and felt like some kind of furry snake…

"That was just my leg." Vegeta sighed and closed his eyes.

"Vegeta…since when is your leg furry?" Bulma asked slowly, not wanting to anger the sleepy saiyan too much by disrupting his snooze.

His ebony eyes opened again, a strange look in them. "But I touched you then! I mean I felt…" His eye widened even more. "It grew back!" He reached under the sheet and grabbed at something near his waist.

"Vegeta this is no time to talk dirty…" Bulma looked away from whatever he was doing under that sheet.

"No, you stupid woman! My tail! My tail grew back!" Vegeta excitedly pulled his hand back up form under the sheet with a brown furry appendage wriggling furiously in his grasp. "Oh happy days! My tail!" Vegeta joyously hugged his tail to his chest.

_Oh happy days? What the hell is he on? _Bulma thought to herself as the saiyan lovingly stroked his tail.

"I thought you'd never grow back after that nasty Yajirobe cut you off! But you came back didn't you? Yes you did!" Vegeta spoke to his tail the same way men often talk to their…uh, dogs.

"Uh, Vegeta? You do know that it can't hear you don't you?" Bulma raised an eyebrow and looked at Vegeta as though he had grown another head instead of a tail

"Of course Little Vegeta can hear me." The saiyan prince rolled his eyes and continued to stroke his tail happily.

"Little Vegeta? You named you tail _Little Vegeta_?" Bulma felt her lip curl. "That's twisted!" She shrieked snidely. "I mean men on earth often name their…uh, dogs, but they don't usually name it after themself." The blue haired genius edged away from Vegeta, not wanting to get involved with his tail fetish.

"Well _I _did!" Vegeta smiled proudly at her. "You know Bulma, I'm feeling rather…happy about my tail growing back, we should celebrate." He smirked suggestively.

"Celebrate?" Bulma narrowed her eyes but slowly began to smile as Vegeta climbed over her and pinned her to the bed, his newly grown tail lashing around behind him with excitement. "Oh…_that_ kind of celebration." Bulma murmured innocently.

"You up for it woman?" Vegeta nibbled on her ear lobe seductively.

"Well I guess, especially since you're so obviously '_up_' for it." She wriggled against him sexily and felt him hardened against her leg where he pressed up to her.

"Luckily we're still undressed. In this state I think your clothes would have gotten totaled again." Vegeta laughed as Bulma tried to reach her head up to kiss him. "Now, now woman, be patient…"

"Screw being patient!" Bulma whispered and managed to capture his lips with hers.

* * *

**A/N - Hi there! Nothing to see here! I mean, there was originally a tiny little lemon...but that's gone. Email me for the full version...or use your imagination. It's up to you!**

* * *

"Wow." Bulma whispered. "That was…"

"Fucking awesome." Vegeta finished, he looked at her and grinned. "Not to become to the typical human male cliché and abandon you after sex but I'm starving, I'm going to go get something to eat…when I can walk again."

"Yeah, I'm going to have a shower…when I can walk again, too." Bulma let out a deep breath and smiled to herself, eventually Vegeta moved across the bed and kissed her again then he happily got dressed left the room, his tail curled contentedly around his waist.

* * *

Vegeta poked around in the cupboards, occasionally pulling out strange foods, smelling them, then making a face and putting them back. His stomach growled again and Vegeta poked around in the cupboards with more vigor, a desperate look in his eyes. "Patience my pet." He urged his stomach as he patted it reassuringly.

The food that he had found so far had been completely unsatisfactory.

It was all _strange_ smelling.

"…Need food…so hungry…haven't eaten in a while…" Vegeta mumbled under his breath as he continued to move jars around as he searched for something edible. "Hmm Koplik Mushrooms…sounds nice…" Vegeta pulled out the small container of blood red mushrooms and sniffed cautiously at them, they smelt like food so he took one out and popped it in his mouth, chewing carefully.

Almost immediately Vegeta's pupils dilated, his tail fuzzed up and a spaced out look edged onto his face. "Mmm…yummy mushrooms." Vegeta took a few more out and shoved them into his mouth, chewing greedily as the magic mushrooms took effect and Vegeta began a magical journey to Trip Out City…

* * *

Bulma yawned as she undressed and hopped in the shower frowning as she heard Vegeta yell something about gazelles with baseball bats from the kitchen. She shrugged, it was probably just him being stupid again…before long he'd start babbling about Lucas.

Lucas.

Bulma frowned harder as she remembered what had happened inside the jail cell when some unseen force had pushed past her. Vegeta had claimed it was Lucas but maybe, just maybe it was something else…

"No stay away! These are my mushrooms!" Vegeta's voice sounded close to the bathroom door, she heard a thump then Vegeta's maniacal laugh. "Ha ha! Take that! That'll teach you for trying to climb into my hair…Aaaargh! Aaaaaah! Rats! Rats all around me!" His voice trailed off.

Bulma shrieked as she heard a small crash that rocked the ship followed by Vegeta yelling something about President Regan and the ambassador from Tokyo being in cahoots. She carefully climbed out of the shower and pulled her clothes on, then opened the door to the main room a crack and peered out to see a dazed looking Vegeta clutching a jar of red mushrooms to his chest with one hand and waving one of the chairs from the kitchen at some unseen things which was near his feet.

"Stay back! Stay back!" Vegeta was threatening the invisible creatures by his feet.

"What the…?" Bulma bit her lip as Vegeta let out another shriek and fled across the room.

"I know what you want rats! You want to steal my body don't you! You want to go joyriding in my sleek saiyan body while I get chained to the kitchen sink in one of your pink rat bodies! Well that isn't going to happen; nobody takes Vegeta's body but Vegeta!" Vegeta stomped at something on the ground and laughed crazily as he stomped at something else to his right.

Bulma closed the door and closed her eyes. What was wrong with him? He hadn't been acting this crazy since the whole concussion incident - had he hit his head again or…wait! Those mushrooms! Her eyes snapped open, it was those mushrooms! It had to be! He'd been fine until he'd gone looking for food! She had to get them off him before he did something even stupider!


	14. Vertically Challanged

Chapter 14

DISCLAIMER: I don't own DBZ…I don't own a monkey either…or Red Dwarf (yeah, you Red Dwarf fans know what I'm talking about!)

* * *

"Nice Vegeta…good Vegeta…put the mushrooms down…" Bulma crooned as she crept closer to Vegeta, one hand held out in front of her to show him that she had no weapons. The spaced out saiyan was huddled on the couch with the mushrooms clutched to his chest and a panicked look in his eyes. "You don't want those mushrooms 'Geta, they're bad for you." Bulma told him.

Vegeta's eyes rolled in the same way a wild horses might before it goes psychotic and he clutched the mushrooms closer to his chest, shaking his head as Bulma inched closer. "No! My mushrooms! You're not even Bulma are you? I bet you're really a space alien aren't you!" Vegeta's voice rose and he began to tremble.

"No Vegeta, I'm not an alien…"

Vegeta's eyes widened. "Ah ha! I know what you are! You're that sneaky little incredibly good-looking elf aren't you? What's-his-name?" Vegeta waved a hand around vaguely in front of his face and then snapped his fingers. "Lucas! That's who you are! Lucas!" Vegeta stood up, the precious mushrooms still clutched close. "Well your not getting my mushrooms!"

"Vegeta, I'm not Lucas, I'm Bulma…"

"Only Lucas would say that he's Bulma!" Vegeta told her matter of factly.

"Okay, okay, okay I_ am_ Lucas!" Bulma decided to try reverse psychology on the prince.

Unfortunately it backfired.

"Ah ha! I knew it!" Vegeta triumphantly screeched.

"No wait! You just said…"

"Aaaaaah! Space Slug!" Vegeta squealed and leapt behind the couch and cowered into a ball. "Not even the mighty super saiyan can defeat the giant space slug!" He opened the jar and greedily ate another mushroom, shrieking as Bulma reached over the couch and grabbed the jar from him. "No! My mushrooms!" He desperately lunged at Bulma.

"The mushrooms are bad for you Vegeta, you shouldn't eat them!" Bulma fled into the bedroom and flushed the mushrooms down the toilet, when she came out Vegeta was on the couch looking incredibly sad.

"All my life people have been stealing my mushrooms off me! Never have I had even a day of peace!" He woefully spoke to the couch cushion next to him.

"Vegeta…"

"No! Don't interrupt me!" Vegeta looked at Bulma, his eyes misting up. "It all started when I was five years old and my father gave me this cute little puppy! The he took it off me and said I was getting weak! I never saw my puppy again." Vegeta sobbed into the couch cushion. "And when I was a teenager all I wanted to do was hang out with the other teenagers and eat mushrooms but Frieza made me eat apricots! _Apricots,_ Bulma! _Apricots!_ Do you know what that does to a man?"

"I can imagine how horrible it must have been." Bulma looked around for something she could knock Vegeta out with if he got out of hand. Maybe king Sanjo had stocked the ship with chloroform?

"Oh, you have no idea!" Vegeta sobbed some more, murmuring about mushrooms and apricots and puppies. "And…and I'm short too!" He cried morosely.

"Short? What the…? I thought we were talking about mushrooms?"

"I said don't interrupt me!" Vegeta shrieked tearfully. "When I was little I was really, really small! So I started brushing my hair up to look big! And for some reason I just stopped growing one day and I was stuck at this height! And…and I tried to hide it so I brushed my hair up like this until it just started growing like that! I even contemplated wearing high heels to look bigger!"

"Vegeta, shhhh! It's okay! Your not short you just, uh, v_ertically_ _challenged_." Bulma crept a few inches closer to Vegeta, trying not to startle him.

"No, I'm short and I know it! I'm tiny! I'm small and worse of all I'm…I'm petite!" Vegeta wailed the last word. "Do you know how hard it was for a teenage me to have to go shopping for clothes in the _children's section_?" Vegeta sobbed into the couch a little more. "Even now it's the same when I go shopping, I always wind up in either the children's department or the dwarf department…I'm short and I hate it!"

_Whoa! Those mushrooms really screwed him up!_

"Okay Vegeta. We're going to go for a little walk to the bedroom and your going to lie down and go to sleep." Bulma took his hand gently.

"No! I can't sleep! If I sleep the rats will get me! Did you see them out here before on their unicycles! They were trying to crawl in my ears! They want to take me over!" Vegeta looked suspiciously around the room. "And then there's Regan and…and Lucas! He's real Bulma and he wants to kill me and make you his queen of Lollipop Land!"

"Lollipop Land, right, well I'll keep watch Vegeta while you sleep this off okay?" Bulma tried to keep a straight face. Vegeta was obviously too far gone to understand a single word she was saying.

"Do you promise you'll keep Lucas away from me? He might try and steal my body too…"

Bulma quickly interrupted him before he could start off on another spiel. "I promise, Vegeta." She helped him stand and walked with him into the bedroom. "Now I want you to lie down and go to sleep."

"Okay…night, night."

"Night, Night, 'Geta."

"Don't call me…'Gettaaaaaa…." Vegeta felt face first onto the bed and started snoring.

"Puh! Lollipop land! Ha!" Bulma strolled to the bedroom door, rolling her eyes.

**"I wouldn't laugh if I were you."** A voice told her.

"V…Vegeta was that you?" Bulma slowly turned back to the bed but the saiyan only snored in response. "Who's there?" Her eyes flicked around the room.

**"It is I - Lucas the incredibly good looking elf."**

"Oh Kami! Now I'm hallucinating too!" Bulma quickly exited out of the bedroom and closed the door, stopping dead in her tracks when she walked in the living room and saw the incredibly good-looking man sized elf seated on the couch waving at her.

**"Hello Bulma."** He winked at her charmingly.

"I know what you are!" Bulma told the elf. "You're a mushroom aren't you?" She glared at the delusion. Apparently Vegeta's condition was contagious!

**"Look Bulma, let me assure you that your not hallucinating. I'm real, very real…as real or you and Vegeta."**

"No…I won't listen to you, you're nothing but a figment of my imagination!"

**"Bulma Briefs! Listen to me!"** Lucas the incredibly good-looking elf stood up and crossed his perfect arms. **"Look Bulma, Vegeta wasn't lying. I do want him dead and I do want you as my queen of Lollipop Land."**

"Yes well, excuse me for not leaping with joy but why do want Vegeta dead?" Bulma stayed a large distance away from Lucas the incredibly good-looking elf.

He looked sneaky.

**"I want him dead because he's your mate, and if he's still alive then I can't get you."** Lucas smiled wryly.** "Unfortunately I can't kill Vegeta. For some reason because he created me with his delusions I cant seem to harm him, but I have other ways of getting him killed."**

"Such as?" Bulma prompted sharply, her eyes flashing with distress at the thought of Vegeta's death.

**"Such as getting you to kill him for me Bulma."** Lucas flashed a brilliant smile.

"Ha! I'd never kill Vegeta! I couldn't even if I tried!" Bulma moved even further back as Lucas the incredibly good-looking elf took a few steps closer to her.

**"Oh Bulma, surely you noticed that Vegeta is very ill at the moment; he's very weak. You could easily kill him with that knife in the kitchen."** Lucas the incredibly good looking elf gestured towards the kitchen.

"Well I won't! I don't care what you do to me! I won't kill him!" Bulma didn't take her eyes off the elf as he moved even closer.

**"You won't have a choice my dear Bulma; you see I'm going to make Vegeta attack you. It'll be either you or him who comes out alive and I plan on making sure it's you!"**

Bulma shook her head and bolted for the kitchen, locking the door behind her as she heard Lucas the incredibly good-looking elf give an incredibly attractive but evil laugh.

"I won't kill him, he's too good in bed!" She yelled at the elf, knowing that he'd hear her somehow.


	15. How To Kill An Elf

Chapter 15

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own DBZ…or any of the shows that I rip off!**

* * *

**"So you see Vegeta, Bulma has been playing you all along!"** Lucas the incredibly good-looking elf smiled evilly at his sick saiyan creator. **"She played you like a violin at the annual saps convention!"**

"Bulma is…evil?" Vegeta stared at Lucas, wondering idly why Luca kept flashing green and pink, not realising that the mushrooms were still affecting him to a very, _very, __very_ large degree.

**"Yes Vegeta, Bulma a _very _bad person, you have to go out there and kill her! Get rid of her so she can't cause any more damage."** Lucas urged Vegeta to stand up.

"But we're mates now! I said I wouldn't do anything to hurt her." Vegeta blinked as Lucas appeared to grow another head, then blinked again as the head shrank away. "Besides, I don't feel too good, I knew I shouldn't have eaten those mushrooms!" vegeta put a stomach to his churning stomach and winced.

**"Oh Vegeta, don't be silly, you're fine. Just go out there and get her! She's in the kitchen right now plotting how to get rid of you."** Lucas the incredibly good-looking elf grinned. **"Besides, are you going to let some weak _human_ boss you around? You have to show her who's the boss!"**

"I do?" Vegeta asked, Lucas nodded. "Yeah, I do!" Vegeta wobbled unstably to his feet and tried to give his usual evil smirk as he tottered off balance. "I'll teach that woman to play me for a fool!"

With a crash Vegeta walked straight into the door and bounced back.

* * *

"Oh Bulmaaaaa…." Bulma froze as Vegeta thumped on the kitchen door and sang out to her in a singsong voice. "Let me in Bulma." He crooned, deceptively soft sounding.

"No! Go away Vegeta you're not thinking straight! You're not well!" She cowered against the far wall and looked around for a weapon of some description. "Just stay away from me!" She warned.

"Stay away from you? But…WE'RE MATES!" Vegeta yelled the last line and began to try to knock down the door again. "I'm going to come in there Bulma, and when I do I'll make you pay for trying to kill me!" Vegeta punctuated the end of his sentence by hurling himself against the door.

"I didn't try to kill you!" Bulma screamed back over the noise. "It's that bloody elf! He's been lying to you Vegeta, don't listen!"

**"I haven't been lying to him at all!"**

Bulma squealed at the voice next to her and turned to see Lucas lounging against the wall, his gleaming smile aimed at her.

**"You _are_ trying to kill him…well, you will be."** The elf laughed merrily.

**(A/N - Confession...I love the word merrily!)**

"You just stay away from me!" Bulma lunged at the elf and managed to knock him over. "Just because Vegeta can't touch you doesn't mean that _I _can't! You see I figured it out Lucas! I know who and what you are now!" Bulma proudly puffed out her chest.

**"Oh really?"** Lucas the incredibly good-looking elf smiled at her mockingly. **"I bet you don't."**

"Fine then, here's the truth! When Vegeta first got ill he started to create an imaginary friend and he created you, but Vegeta wasn't well and he didn't think you were fake, he believed in you, he believed in you so much that eventually you started to become real to him. At first only Vegeta was able to see you, because he was your creator and it was his energy you were feeding off. But as Vegeta got better again he still thought you were real…and by this time you _were _becoming real!" Bulma took a deep breath and continued. "As Vegeta got over the saiyan mating season thing you started to suck more energy out of him in a desperate bid to become real and somehow when we crash-landed on that planet you found some way of making yourself real!"

**"Bravo Bulma! Bravo!"** Lucas clapped.** "You almost have it straight but your not quite there. You see I didn't really became more real on that planet, you just felt me there because the entire planets atmosphere is highly charged with static electrons and they attached themselves to me giving me an aura of power which pushed you away from me when I bumped into you. Of course once we left that planet it faded…then of course we ran into that space anomaly."** Lucas threw back his head and laughed. **"It affected us all in different ways, it took away Vegeta's ability to lie for a few minutes, it took away your ability to move and speak for a few hours…and me, well it made me real! Somehow that space anomaly made me into a solid being."**

"My God! I should have known!" Bulma took a step back in fear. "I should have known that anomaly was bad news!" Her blue eyes widened.

**"Yes, you should have…but you didn't."** Lucas looked at Bulma slyly. **"I was afraid at first that once the anomaly had passed that I would once again fade away, and in a way I did."** He looked at Bulma as if waiting for her to ask a question then he shrugged and continued. **"I found that I could fade in and out of physical being because the anomaly had tied my physical presence with Vegeta's."**

"I don't…I don't get it." Bulma looked at kitchen door as Vegeta gave a bellow of rage and kept trying to knock it down.

**"What I mean, my dear sweet Bulma, is that I am only solid because I'm feeding of Vegeta's power, once Vegeta is dead all his energy will be released and I will be able to claim it and become solid once more and then, I will have you for my queen!"**

"Never! I'd die before I touch you!" Bulma spat at the elf. "I didn't know it before but…but I love Vegeta!" She gasped emotionally. "I love him, do you hear me, Elf! And nothing on earth is going to make me be your queen! If I kill Vegeta then I'll kill myself too!" Bulma gave battle cry and threw herself at Lucas, knocking him through the kitchen door, which he passed through like a ghost.

Bulma hoped that Lucas would take a little while to get through the door again as she looked around for a hiding place. She needed somewhere to hide and to think.

But most of all she needed a plan…

* * *

**"Vegeta! What's wrong with you! Get this door down now!"** Lucas frowned at the saiyan who was puffing with the effort already. **"You can't be _that_ weak! All you did was eat a few of those silly mushrooms!"** Lucas was flickering in and out of physical presence as Vegeta's power rose and fell.

"I told you…I don't…feel…so good." Vegeta panted. He gathered his energy and took a deep breath. He straightened with a dark glint in his eyes. "But that…doesn't matter…I'll get in!" Vegeta walked across into the bathroom and came back through the door with several ornate hair pins, he stuck them into the door lock and began to pick the lock the way that Yamcha had shown him back on Earth when Bulma had tried to padlock the fridge shut.

After a few minutes the lock clicked and Vegeta burst into the room.

The empty _Bulma-less_ room.

"Where...where is she?" Vegeta scanned the room angrily and tried to sense her ki, but it was no good. Bulma, it seemed, had disappeared. Vegeta shrugged, it didn't matter that much; she'd show up again eventually. For the meantime Vegeta planned to make use of his time in the kitchen!

**"Vegeta! No! What are you doing? You have to find Bulma! Vegeta! Are you listening to me?"** Lucas looked on in despair as Vegeta gave up looking for Bulma and began to ransack the kitchen cupboards looking for more food. Unbeknownst to the two men in the kitchen, Bulma sat in the air duct above their heads, watching them through the grating.

She watched as Vegeta's power flickered and Lucas inturn flickered in and out of physical being and a brilliant planned formed in Bulma's mind.

She knew how to kill Lucas once and for all - she just hoped that Vegeta didn't get killed in the process!


	16. Death To Lucas!

Chapter 16

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own DBZ…or any of the shows that I rip off!**

* * *

Bulma scuttled quietly through the air ducts; luckily the noise Vegeta was making rummaging through the cupboards was covering any noise she was making.

She was heading for the bathroom; she had a plan - a very simple plan but one that she felt would work…as long as nothing went terribly, horribly wrong. She intended to get more of those mushrooms and then she'd feed them to Vegeta again. He'd only eaten a few mushrooms last time and he'd turned about as strong as an average human being…if she fed him all of them he'd completely lose his power and Lucas would have nothing more to feed and he'd fade away…

Well, he'd fade away _theoretically._

The blue haired scientist reached the grill that opened into the bathroom and pushed it out easily. She dropped to the ground athletically and searched around the toilet for any mushrooms that she might have dropped when she'd flushed them down the loo. But there were none; which meant she'd have to do the almost impossible. She'd have to lure Vegeta out of the kitchen and go through the cupboards for more mushrooms…there were bound to be more, after all she'd noticed that they had multiple supplies of everything on this ship.

Bulma opened the cupboard under the sink and dug around; looking for anything slippery like detergent or liquid soap and after only a minute of searching she found some green, ooze like liquid soap. Quietly she tiptoed out of the bathroom and crept up the kitchen door, Vegeta was inside eating something red…Bulma's eyes widened, he was eating more mushrooms! This was perfect!

She squirted the soap around the outside of the kitchen door and quietly backed away. She'd let Vegeta eat for an hour or so until he had gorged himself on enough mushrooms to render him weak, then she'd lure him out here and hopefully knock him out or at least force him to chase her until he collapsed of exhaustion! It had worked last time when he'd burst through the bedroom door and had gone careening into the shower - hopefully the old soap-on-the-floor trick would work again.

Bulma crept close to the doorway again and began to spy on Vegeta as he talked to a disgruntled looking Lucas.

"I really don't wanna kill her, I mean Bulma feeds me! If I kill her who's gonna make me food?" Vegeta was stuffing mushrooms into his mouth as if there was no tomorrow, Bulma could only imagine how delusional his brain must have been getting.

**"If you kill her Vegeta, I'll cook for you!"** Lucas sounded desperate.

"No, you can't fool me Lucas, you can't cook, you can only lie." Vegeta stuffed a few more mushrooms into his mouth and chewed happily. Behind him Lucas snarled and sprang at Vegeta's back only to pass right through him. Lucas looked frustrated and crept back up behind Vegeta and tried to strangle him…only his hands kept passing through his neck.

Vegeta kept chewing, unaware of Luca's half-assed attempts on his life.

Bulma crept back from the door way as Lucas flickered dangerously again, it was now or never…

"Hey! Vegeta! Looking for me!" Bulma sprang into the middle of the room where Vegeta would have a perfect view of her from the kitchen. The 'happy saiyan' looked up and frowned. "Lucas the incredibly good looking elf said you were trying to kill me…that isn't very nice Bulma, especially after how nice I've been to you lately." Vegeta put the mushrooms down and an evil smirk formed on his features. "I guess I'll have to teach you a little lesson!"

Vegeta began to run unsteadily towards Bulma, he passed through the kitchen doorway and gave a Homer Simpson type squeal of fear as he careened off balance and crashed into the couch. Bulma took off running for the kitchen as Vegeta dragged himself to his feet and launched himself at Bulma, grabbing her ankle and sending them both careening to the floor where they promptly hit the liquid soap again and slid into the kitchen, ending in a tangled heap against the kitchen cabinets.

Vegeta recovered first, he grabbed Bulma and slid her under him, effectively pinning her to the ground with one hand while he knelt over her with a menacing expression. "You know it isn't nice to try to kill me Bulma, I'm going to have to punish you." Vegeta sneered at her and Bulma gave a yelp of fear as he tried to punch her, jerking her head to one side just in time to miss his fist, which rammed into the floor and shattered he tiles.

Usually this wouldn't have hurt Vegeta, but the mushrooms were quickly sapping his strength and Vegeta howled in pain. Bulma took advantage of his momentary pain to scream as loudly as she could. Over Vegeta's shoulder she could see Lucas flickering in and out of sight. Vegeta recovered and glared down at Bulma; his eyes alight with a mad light.

"I'm gonna get you for that woman!" He raised his fist to try to hit her again and Bulma closed her eyes and kneed him in the groin, hoping it would have some effect.

It did.

Vegeta slid off her and howled in pain. Bulma dragged herself to her feet and grabbed an empty glass bottle conveniently placed by the fridge and smacked Vegeta on the back of the head with it. His painful howling abruptly stopped as he slumped to the floor, out for the count.

Lucas gave a triumphant laugh. **"You did it! I'm free!"**

"I'm afraid not." Bulma crept closer to Vegeta and sure enough she could feel a very weak pulse when she felt for a pulse. "You see those mushroom sapped his strength…and with no energy to feed on your gonna die." She smirked sadistically as fear flooded Lucas' eyes.

The elf stopped grinning and stared at Bulma in horror. **"No…it can't be true!"**

"I'm afraid it is." Bulma grinned. "Bye bye, _Baby_!" She waved as the elf began to fade.

Lucas the incredibly good-looking elf screamed as his body began to melt into a puddle, his screams turned painful as bit by bit he melted until finally all that was left was his head.** "I'll get you for this Bulma Briefs! And your little saiyan too!"** He cackled.

Bulma raised her eyebrows as Lucas' head melted away. "Go away Lucas!" She rolled her eyes.

With a final tortured scream Lucas faded from existence and Bulma collapsed onto the floor, now all she had to do was make sure Vegeta survived…

* * *

Bulma wiped the damp cloth across Vegeta's forehead and he twitched and tried to pull away. "No…too cold." Vegeta protested weakly.

"Shhhh, it's okay Vegeta, you're safe." Bulma put the cloth down and watched him as he struggled back into consciousness. For the past four days Vegeta had been in and out of consciousness…apparently the mushrooms had had a worse affect on him then Bulma had thought as Vegeta had been rendered powerless for the first few days.

He opened his coal black eyes and looked at the woman who lent over him. "Please tell me that I didn't try to hurt you…tell me it was a dream." Hi voice was barely a whisper he was so weak.

"It's okay Vegeta, you weren't yourself." Bulma snuggled up closer to him, relieved to have him awake again. "Besides you didn't actually hurt me."

"But…I tried to hit you!" Vegeta looked aghast. "I'm so…sorry!"

"It's okay." Bulma told him softly. "Besides I'm the one who hit you on the back of the head with a bottle…I almost killed you." Bulma tried to cheer him up by kissing him on the cheek. "But at least I killed Lucas."

"You killed him? How?" Vegeta struggled into a sitting position.

"He was surviving on your energy. I just had to push you to the brink of death so you had no energy for him to feed on then he…well…melted away like the wicked witch of the west." She pushed her hair behind her head. "Vegeta…I don't know if this is the right time to tell you but…I love you."

Vegeta looked up at the woman who had held his attention from the first day he had seen her and smiled faintly. "Feh!" He dismissed her. "I knew that! Foolish woman! What woman wouldn't love Prince Vegeta?" The saiyan prince smirked.

Bulma scoffed. "There you go, getting all egotistical on me again, but let me tell you something Vegeta, you're not as irresistible as you think you are!"

Vegeta gazed into her blue eyes and gave a genuine smile. "Yes I am. And for the record, I love you too. Now let's go home."


	17. A Quick Pit Stop!

Chapter 17

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own DBZ…or any of the shows that I rip off!**

**A/N – Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. Your comments were very welcome as are the emails I get from the occasional person. It's to nice know that people enjoy my writing and look forward to reading more of my work! Yay!**

* * *

_It had been a week since 'The Lucas Ordeal' as Bulma termed it, had occurred. Vegeta's strength had been restored, along with his sanity, and they were well on their way home. Bulma wasn't exactly 100% sure they were heading in the right direction, but she was 96.89082635373% sure that it was the right direction and that was good enough for both herself and Vegeta._

_Of course before they returned home there was one more thing Vegeta wanted to do… _

* * *

"So let me get this straight." Bulma pushed her hair behind her ears. "You used to come to this place when you were still a murdering, plundering evil minion of Frieza's?" Bulma was carefully docking their shuttle at a space station that Vegeta was _demanding_ they must stop at to replenish their supplies.

"I used to go there all the time." A sly smile crept over Vegeta's features. "They should remember me…"

"What's that supposed to mean? You didn't kill too many people here did you?" Bulma glared at her mate and pursed her lips as he avoided her eyes.

"I didn't kill everyone…just one or two high ranking officials." Vegeta squirmed under Bulma's glare. "It'll work in our favour though! Now that Frieza is dead everyone is going to know that _I'm _the strongest being in the universe and they won't dare try to stop us from…shopping." The saiyan Prince smirked as though this was a real achievement in his eyes.

"Vegeta, we have no money. What we're doing is stealing, it's robbery!" Bulma glared disarmingly at Vegeta, hoping to make him see the error of his ways. How could he be so easy going when they were talking about robbery?

"Yeah well, these space station punks had it coming. When we get inside just stick close to me. Some of the men in there are real monsters." Vegeta gave a tough looking nod. "If anyone so much as looks at you wrong tell me and I'll get 'em for you." Vegeta gave Bulma a wicked smile; "I've got a reputation for being a monster."

"Gee, thanks." Bulma rolled her eyes. "Vegeta, just don't forget why we're here. Not so you can flaunt your power, but to get food, that's all." Bulma landed the space shuttle in their allocated landing pad and opened the air lock, warily eying Vegeta who was practically bouncing from foot to foot, eager no doubt to flaunt his new power and scare the shit out of as many people as possible.

"Typical male." Bulma grumbled as she stood up and stretched. "Remember Vegeta, don't get us killed."

Vegeta's grin faded and as Bulma watched his serious face appeared. He crossed his arms and tried to look as mean as possible. "Come on woman, we're going to have to put on a good show for the backwater freaks on this station. From this moment forward you must call me Prince Vegeta and show me all the respect you would show to royalty. I know you don't want to, but trust me, the more powerful these station dwellers think I am, the more likely it is that we'll be able to get our supplies with out trouble."

Bulma nodded. "I think I can handle that…but what are you going to tell people if they ask who I am?"

"They won't ask, but if someone does you're merely going to be a slave." Vegeta looked Bulma up and down and smirked. "They'll assume that you're my private whore of course, but at least if they think that no men are going to dare to approach you for fear of my wrath."

"Oh great, you get to be a prince and I get to be a whore." Bulma pouted. "This is _not_ fair – why can't I be the overlord and you be the whore?."

"I would trade places but I don't think that these stationers would believe that you're Prince Vegeta and I'm your whore, now would they?" Vegeta strode out the airlock, his entire being screamed royalty. Bulma couldn't help but be impressed. Even though she knew Vegeta had been born a prince, it was strange to see him playing up to the role so completely. She hurried after him, making sure to walk a few steps behind him and demurely keeping her eyes away from him.

"P…P…Prince Vegeta!" The poor sap that was guarding the door into the space station and checking ID's almost had a fit when he caught sight of Vegeta. Hurriedly he spoke into his radio and bowed low on the ground. Moments later the captain of the guards came scurrying out.

"Prince Vegeta!" They gasped in surprise. "Had we known of your arrival we would have prepared a welcome, but we had heard that you had been killed on planet Namek." The guard also bowed then stood again. "On behalf of the GBC space station I bid you welcome." The captain motioned Vegeta towards the entry door and Bulma was swept along with the party of guards who swarmed around Vegeta. "If I may ask Prince, what happened on Namek?"

Vegeta smirked. "I killed Dodoria and Zarbon. Later I managed to kill Frieza…the rumours of my death were greatly exaggerated." He frowned as he heard Bulma cough behind him; he hoped the woman would know better then to contradict him.

"Of course." The captain nodded as he opened another door and ushered Vegeta and Bulma into a spacious office; he took a seat and offered the other to Vegeta. Bulma stood near Vegeta until he felt his tail wrap around her leg and pull her to the floor, then she moved close to his feet leaned against him, Vegeta began to pet her hair and Bulma had to resist the urge to bite his hand.

He was treating her like a bloody dog!

The captain was looking at Bulma with curiosity. "What species is she?"

"Oh, she's human, a most entertaining species." Vegeta squeezed her shoulder and Bulma realised he was just acting into the part and tried to relax herself.

"Human? Ah, from Earth, we have one or two shops here that sell trinkets from Earth." The captain looked Bulma over. "She is a very attractive female."

"Of course she is." Vegeta allowed an annoyed tone to creep into is voice. "I'd hardly have taken her off Earth with me if she didn't appeal to me." Vegeta glared at the captain. "The reason I'm here is for supplies, I have recently been on a trip to annihilate Count Atrium Ventricular and I have run out of supplies. I'm hoping you will be able to re-stock my ship with out too much trouble." Vegeta glared harder, pleased when the captain began to squirm in his seat.

"Of course, of course." He quickly agreed. "Uh, when are you thinking of leaving?" The captain timidly questioned.

"As soon as possible." Vegeta pulled a list out of a pocket and tossed it at the captain. "This is a list of what I require; I will expect your men to re-stock my ship with the missing equipment while I get myself some new armour."

"Yes! Of course.' The captain stood up as Vegeta did. "Would you like a guard to accompany you?"

"No, I'm quite able to find my way around with out a guard." Vegeta chuckled. "Just make sure my ship is restocked or I shall hold you _personally_ accountable."

"Yes, Prince Vegeta." The captain paled.

* * *

Vegeta paraded out in front of Bulma in his new saiyan armour. "What does it look like, woman?" He posed for her, showing off his great physique.

"It's looks great Mr. Prince." Bulma drawled mockingly, Vegeta threw her a glare before smirking at the sweating shop attendant.

"I'll take it." Vegeta sauntered up to the shop attendant and grinned nastily. "I guess you got lucky punk, if I hadn't found something I liked…" Vegeta left the sentence hanging and left the store with Bulma following behind him,

"This is soooo boring Vegeta! I want to…" She trailed off as Vegeta halted in front of a big white building. "What's up Vegeta?" She asked curiously.

"Do you know what this is woman?" He gestured at the building and Bulma raised an eyebrow.

"Is it an ice cream shop?" She guessed sarcastically.

He frowned at her. "No, it's the equivalent of a church."

"A church?" Bulma felt a frizzle of excitement squirm through her.

"Yes and since we are planning on becoming mates, perhaps we should make it official?" Vegeta spoke as though indifferent.

"Official? Like get married?" Bulma tried to sound equally neutral.

"Yeah." Vegeta turned to her. "So you want to?" he tried to look casual, it wouldn't do for Bulma to find out that he'd planned all of this…

"I-I'd love to!" Bulma grinned at him, _wow Vegeta just proposed to me!_

Vegeta opened the door and strode in with Bulma, he walked up to the front desk took the papers the man behind the desk handed him. "We have to sign these, and then we do the ceremony."

Bulma grinned eagerly and picked up a pen. "Just show me the dotted line…"

* * *

Bulma and Vegeta stood next to each other in front of a strange alter, both of them had tiny cuts on their wrists and the priest was leaning over the alter chanting and muttering as he mixed their blood together in a bowl. He turned around and tied a Bulma's left wrist to Vegeta's right wrist with a piece of black ribbon then he held up the bowl with their blood. He dipped his finger in and still muttering and chanting he drew symbol on Bulma's forehead then drew the same symbol on Vegeta's forehead. The priest said something to Vegeta in another language and Vegeta muttered back quietly. The priest nodded and took two silver rings from his pocked and handed one to Vegeta and one to Bulma.

"We have to put these on each other." Vegeta whispered and took slid his ring onto Bulma's left hand, which was still tied to his with the ribbon. Bulma then took her ring and following Vegeta's whispered instruction slid it onto his right hand. The priest smiled and said something then turned his back on them and Vegeta moved closer to Bulma. "We have to bite each others neck, he cannot watch because this is the most intimate part of the bonding."

Bulma nodded and closed her eyes as Vegeta lent into her and gently bit her neck, she gritted her teeth against the pain as he bit through the skin and drew blood. He pulled back and then Bulma did the same to him, biting down until she drew blood. Vegeta hugged her close and said something to the priest who then turned back around and untied the ribbon from their wrists.

"It's over, we're bonded…married." Vegeta kissed Bulma. "Now you're _mine_ forever woman." Vegeta stared at her greedily.

"You…you planned this didn't you?" Bulma smiled at him and Vegeta nodded sheepishly.

"Of course I did, you didn't really think we came back here just for supplies did you?" He kissed Bulma again. "Now you're never ever going to be free of me, we own each other now."

Bulma laughed, pleased with this development. "So we can finally go home now for real?"

Vegeta nodded. "Yeah, I've got everything I wanted from this trip…I think we can leave." His eyes gleamed at the thought of being alone with Bulma in space.

Then the couple turned and walked away from the alter as one, there souls tied for eternity with the power of a saiyan bond.

* * *

**A/N – Teheheh...so OOC, I love it! It's not the end yet! There's still a little more of this story to come!**


	18. Weasel World!

Chapter 18

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own DBZ…or any of the shows that I rip off! I do own 'Lena' though…after all, I am who I am!**

* * *

Bulma sat at the bar and slowly drank down another of the strange sparkly beverages that Vegeta now had her hooked on. Vegeta himself was over at the bar ordering more drinks. They were celebrating!

"Hey there gorgeous, this chair empty?"

Bulma looked up at the red haired man who presumptuously sat down across from her in Vegeta's seat and looked at him with contempt. "As a matter of fact it is taken, so you'd better move!"

The man smiled sleazily and tried to touch Bulma's hand. "Oh come on baby, I've seen the man you're here with…that short little nobody."

"That short little 'nobody' is Prince Vegeta, so unless you want to get your ass kicked I'd suggest you move." Bulma scowled, then a slight smile crept over her face as she noticed that Vegeta had noticed her plight and was now heading over this way wearing his _'I'm-an-angry-saiyan-so-don't-fuck-with-me'_ look.

"Get out of my chair, weakling." Vegeta grabbed the man by his collar and lifted him clean out of the seat and hurled him to the floor.

"Hey dude! I didn't mean to…" The man tried to forestall his imminent beating, but Vegeta wasn't having any of it.

"Shut up!" Vegeta kicked him to the floor when the man tried to scrabble to his feet. "How dare you try to hit on Prince Vegeta's woman! Are you stupid or just plain suicidal?" Vegeta's tone was getting angrier and angrier, sparred on by the mans contemptuous look.

"Oh come on!" The man rolled his eyes. "You're not Prince Vegeta, Prince Vegeta was killed on Namek, every idiot knows that!" The man avoided Vegeta as he climbed to his feet. "Besides, even if you were Prince Vegeta, you don't deserve a woman like her!" The man threw back his head and laughed.

Vegeta was not impressed.

Not impressed at all.

Bulma winced as Vegeta's fist connected with the mans face with a sickening crunch, she winced again as the man howled in pain and Vegeta roughly punched him in the stomach and sent him flying across the room the hit the wall with a shuddering jar.

Vegeta glared around the bar nastily. "Any body else want to hit on my woman?"

There was silence.

"Didn't think so."

* * *

Vegeta and Bulma walked through the spaceport, glancing in windows and perusing the different stores at their leisure. "I can't believe you actually got into a brawl with another man over me." Bulma grinned with amusement, while Vegeta merely snorted. "That's so sweet!" She crooned.

"It wasn't a real fight, that weakling loser didn't even hit back once." He frowned at the memory and began to mutter under his breath. "Idiot weakling doubting that I'm Prince Vegeta…"

"Hey!" Bulma interrupted him excitedly. "This store looks interesting, let's go in!" Bulma cut Vegeta's mutters off and opened the store's door and walked in, Vegeta shrugged and followed her.

The store clerk, a tall girl with shiny black hair looked up at them. "Hi I'm Lena, welcome to _weasel world_, how can I help you?" The clerk grinned annoyingly and stared intently at Vegeta.

"We're just looking thanks." Vegeta growled under his breath as the shop keep pranced closer and looked him up and down.

"Say, don't I know you from somewhere?" She tilted her head on the side and her green eyes gleamed with amusement at his prickly attitude.

"No." Vegeta snapped, backing away from the neurotic girl.

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Real sure?" She frowned at him.

"Yes!" Vegeta turned away from the annoying clerk and wandered over to where Bulma was watching some small weasels playing in a cage.

"They're so cute! How much are they?" Bulma smiled at them.

Lena pranced closer, avoiding the angry saiyan Prince. "Only 20 credits, but since you're so nice I can probably do you deal…how about 15 credits?"

Bulma looked at the cute little weasels and smiled again. "I don't know…where did these things come from any way?"

"Oh this little place called Earth…they have the strangest animals there!" Lena tossed her black hair and opened the cage, handing one of the weasels to Bulma so she could hold it.

"What hideous little creatures." Vegeta muttered as he stared at them over Bulma's shoulder.

The little weasels turned and looked at Vegeta as he said this, then before Lena could close the door they all weaselled their way out of the cage and leapt at Vegeta, fastening onto his arms and legs as he shrieked and tried to batter them off. One weasel crawled into his hair and Vegeta shrieked louder, hopping up and down and shaking himself in an attempt to dislodge the angry weasels.

Bulma couldn't help but laugh as Vegeta dropped to the floor and began to roll around in an unconscious parody of the old fire rule 'stop drop and roll.'

"Oh my! President Regan! NO!" Lena ran over to Vegeta and pulled off the weasel that was nestled in his hair called, of all things; '_President Regan'_.

She continued pulling snarling weasels form off Vegeta until finally she pulled the last one from his neck and Vegeta jumped to is feet, giving a small shudder of revulsion as the yellow weasel called 'President Regan' in Lena's arms hissed at him. "Umm, perhaps you'd better go." Lena ushered them towards the door. "It's funny…I've never seen them do that before." She whispered to Bulma before closing the shop door behind them and switching the sign from 'open' to 'closed'.

Vegeta rubbed at the multiple weasel bites and glared at Bulma. "Next time I'm picking the shop we go into."

"No way!" Bulma scoffed. "Knowing you we'd end up walking into some sort of mad scientists shop and you'd be turned into some sort of strange half fly half man creature…then I'd have to call you '_Buzz_eta '"

"That isn't funny woman." Vegeta glared at her.

"Hey it's the truth! You're just as bad at picking good shops as I am." Bulma and Vegeta slowly walked back to the docking bay where the captain of the guards and his men were assembled outside.

"Ah, Prince Vegeta, your ship if fully stocked and we wish you a good departure." The captain and his men bowed as Vegeta and Bulma walked up the ramp and shut the airlock behind them.

Vegeta breathed a sigh of relief. "I can't tell you how glad I am to leaving."

"Me either." Bulma walked over to the controls and started the ship. In a matter of minutes they had pulled out of the docking bay and were continuing on their way home.

* * *

Vegeta was watching Bulma wash dishes when a strange thought struck him. "Hey Bulma?"

"Mmm?" She glanced at him over her shoulder. "What's up?"

"I'm just wondering, suppose you went spelunking with some friends and the cave collapsed and you were stuck in there with no way out. I was just wondering what would be going through your mind?" The saiyan prince considered Bulma with a smirk.

"That's a weird question." Bulma finished washing up and pulled her rubber gloves off. "I guess ways of escaping would be running through my mind…what would you be thinking?"

Vegeta smirked at Bulma. "I'd be thinking that my friends are starting to look mighty tasty."

"Vegeta!" Bulma threw a dishcloth at him. "That's horrible!"

Vegeta laughed and lunged at Bulma, scooping her into his arms and carried her into the bedroom where he dropped her on the bed and suddenly smirked. "Boy…is it getting hot in here or is it just me?" He pulled off his armour and Bulma snickered.

"Yeah…I'm feeling really warm too…" She pulled off her dress and licked her bottom lip.

Vegeta raised an eyebrow and moved towards her, catching her mouth in a passionate kiss, then the last person they ever thought to hear from again interrupted them…

**"Hey guys, miss me?"** Lucas the incredibly good-looking elf appeared in front of them and began to laugh…


	19. Die Lucas, Die!

Chapter 19

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own DBZ…or any of the shows that I rip off!**

* * *

"Lucas!" Gasped Bulma.

"Lucas!" Gasped Vegeta.

**"Hi."** Lucas waved at them. **"Bet you thought I was gone for good, didn't you? Bet you thought once I had melted away through the fabric of reality I'd never come back, didn't you?"** The elf sounded highly amused at their predicament.

"Well, yeah." Bulma confessed as she grabbed her dress of the floor and pulled it back on, ignoring the sleazy elf watching her. "I suppose you came back for a reason?"

**"But of course! I came back for…revenge!"** Lucas laughed crazily, his blonde hair shining perfectly in the dimly lit room.

Vegeta raised and an eyebrow, unimpressed. "And you're going to get revenge by doing what exactly?"

Lucas paused in his laughter. **"I…I…"**

"You didn't think this through did you?" Bulma asked as Lucas floundered.

**"Yes!"** Lucas defended himself, crossing his arms over his chest defiantly. **"I am going to kill you by…by…dammit!"** Lucas began to curse. **"I'll think of something you know! You can't escape me forever! Just because I can't touch Vegeta, doesn't mean I can't get revenge on you Bulma!"** Lucas laughed again, this time triumphantly.

"And how, pray tell, do you intend on doing that?" Bulma asked as she sidled up to the computer again and placed her fingers over a small red button. Vegeta saw where her fingers were and grabbed hold of the desk edge. Bulma nodded at him and, with her free hand, grabbed hold of the chair, which was bolted down.

Lucas, unaware of Vegeta grasping the table and Bulma grasping the chair didn't seem to realise that something big was about to happen, so when Bulma pressed the red button and the air lock opened Lucas had only a second, which he spent squealing in fear, before he was sucked out into the cold blackness of space.

Bulma, hanging onto the chair for dear life, screamed despite herself as her grip loosened. "Vegeta! Get to the button…I'm slipping!" She yelled desperately. Vegeta nodded and managed to edge his way towards the button, grunting once when he almost lost his grip and was almost sucked out the air lock. Luckily he managed to get another grip and pressed the red button. The air lock whirred close again and Bulma and Vegeta dropped to the floor as the suction stopped.

Bulma lay on her back, breathing hard. "Is he gone?" She asked.

Vegeta pulled himself up and made his way to a window, he peered outside and chuckled. "Oh yeah, he's out there - and he's _not_ happy."

"What's that mean?" Bulma pulled herself up and tiredly made her way to the window, she gasped as she caught sight of Lucas, a mere black dot, being sucked into a nearby star.

"I guess he got a little too _hot _under the collar!" Vegeta joked lamely.

Bulma rolled her eyes. "I'm just glad it's over, hopefully he won't ever, _ever_ come back to bother us again." Bulma paused then raised her eyes heavenward as though imploring some unseen person who was plotting their destiny for mere entertainment purposes, then added another; _"Ever again!"_

Vegeta flung an arm around Bulma's shoulders. "So…now that we're alone again, think we could pick up where we left off?"

Bulma smirked at him. "I think that's a definite possibility!"

Vegeta put his hands on Bulma's waist and pulled her close to him. "This dress is far too…" Vegeta began to bunch the material in his hands then tore the dress in two. "…flimsy." He smirked at Bulma's outraged look. "I mean...look how easily it tore apart!"

Bulma licked her lips and placed her hands on Vegeta's shoulders, no longer uneasy being scantily clad in Vegeta's presence, and stood on tip toe to kiss him. "You're so cute when you tell blatant lies!" Bulma hooked her arms around his neck and wrapped her legs around his waist as Vegeta picked her up and kissed her.

"You're mine now little weakling." He whispered against her mouth provocatively. "You're my woman for ever and ever."

* * *

**A/N - I edited out a really small lemon...really small. Don't sweat the small stuff, ne?**

* * *

Vegeta sat up with a start and quickly dressed in his blue training suit as the ship shuddered and the computers voice came on line.

**"Warning, Warning, entering the atmosphere of a planetary body."**

Bulma scrambled to her feet and pulled some clothes on then scampered out main deck where Vegeta was already punching random buttons, a worried but oddly happy look on his face as he hit a few more buttons and chuckled despite the danger.

"Computer, can you identify the planet?" Bulma asked as she shooed Vegeta away from the buttons, aware now of his button-pushing fetish. She handed him his armour which he pulled on and clicked into place.

There was a pause before the computer responded.

**"The planet has been identified as the planet Earth."**

Bulma and Vegeta exchanged looks of amazement. "Computer land at these co-ordinates." Bulma punched in the co-ordinates of capsule corp. and turned to face Vegeta. "We're home…"

"Yeah…_home_." Vegeta smirked. "I can't wait to see the expression on those guys face when they hear what we've been up to!"

* * *

**A/N – One more chapter to go…what will the Z gang say when they learn of B/V's relationship? _(Probably something mildly amusing…yah? ^_^) _This is also chapter which, looking over it now, I clearly have not rewritten since my original fic. Lazy Lena.**_  
_


	20. Temptation Waits

Chapter 20

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own DBZ…or any of the shows that I rip off!**

_A/N – The final chapter…the epilogue is here! It brings a tear to my eyes to finally be writing the final chapter of this fic! I loved writing it so much! There is one or two warning for this chapter: it contains Yamcha bashing and it's going to be a song-chapter to the song 'Temptation Waits' by Garbage which is the song that inspired the fic…please do read the lyrics, you'll know why this song inspired the story when you read them!_

* * *

_I'll tell you something_

_I am a wolf but_

_I like to wear sheep's clothing_

_I am a bonfire_

_I am a vampire_

_I'm waiting for my moment_

* * *

The entire Z gang was gathered outside of Capsule Corp, they could all feel Vegeta's ki getting stronger although the space ship was not yet in sight. It wasn't Vegeta they were there for though...it was Bulma All of them were worried for her safety…well almost all of them.

"I bet he killed her, I bet he….ate her or something just as barbaric in space!" Chichi worried out loud.

Yamcha looked at the black haired woman and nodded in agreement. "Yeah or else he jumped her bones, he always had a thing for my girl."

Tien gave Yamcha a jealous look. "I thought I was your girl?"

"Shut up!" Yamcha hissed back, aware of the disgusted look Piccolo was giving him.

"Either way, Bulma will be dead, I mean can you imagine what kind of horrible things could happen with her and Vegeta of all people stuck together in space? I mean, Bulma can't stand him and the only person Vegeta tolerates is himself! It'll be a disaster! She'll be dead! I just know it!" Chichi's voice grew shrill. "My poor friend! Dying all alone in space!"

Goku and Piccolo exchanged a knowing look. "I don't think you're going to have to worry snout Bulma being dead Chichi, I think they're going to be just fine." Goku smiled, knowing that Vegeta wasn't the monster he pretended to be; he was a bastard, but he wasn't a complete and utter bastard…well…he was a bastard but not as much as a bastard as everyone thought. Besides which, Trunks was proof enough that those two were going to get it on at some stage...

* * *

_You come on like a drug_

_I just can't get enough_

_I'm like an addict coming at you for a little more_

_And there's so much at stake_

_I can't afford to waste_

_I've never needed anybody like this before_

* * *

Goku and Piccolo alone knew the purple haired strangers secret; that he was Bulma and Vegeta's son from the future. As unthinkable as it was, Bulma and Vegeta had been stuck in space together for over six months, and it was very likely that Trunks had been conceived by now. Goku had always secretly thought that Vegeta and Bulma would make a nice couple - they were both short and kind of cranky.

_How exciting! Vegeta was going to be a daddy just like him!_

Piccolo looked up in the sky. "Yeah I bet Vegeta and Bulma had a wild time together."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Yamcha glared at Piccolo. "Do you know something I don't?"

"Yamcha everybody knows something you don't." Piccolo retorted snidely.

"Look! There they are!" Krillen shouted excitedly as the spaceship came into view and settled down on the front lawn of Capsule Corporation with a gentle roaring sound. It wasn't Bulma's ship but they could feel Vegeta's ki inside of it so they knew that it was their friends inside and not some alien monster. Well…unless you counted vegeta as an alien monster.

* * *

_I'll tell you something_

_I am a demon_

_Some say my biggest weakness_

_I have my reasons_

_Call it my defence_

_Be careful what you're wishing_

* * *

Vegeta looked out the window of the spaceship at the Z gang who had gathered outside his mate's house. "You know Bulma the last time I saw people like them I had to pay admission."

"Vegeta! That isn't very nice!" Bulma giggled despite herself.

"Well it's true." Vegeta crossed his arms over his chest as he stared at Yamcha, how he loathed that human! "Hey Bulma, Yamcha's parents were brother and sister weren't they? I mean the inbreeding is a little obvious in his family."

Bulma finished shutting down the ships engines and gave Vegeta a look that told him to behave himself. "I know you haven't had a good fight since that King Sanjo but please don't go and start a fight with Yamcha."

"Woman, you said that if he pissed me off I could fight with him. Well, if he pisses me off I will." Vegeta grinned, knowing full well that the human would piss him off inevitably. Yamcha couldn't help it - he was more of an idiot than Kakarot was; and that was saying something!

Bulma gave him another warning look before she opened the hatch and walked down to the outside world. The Z gang all let out an ear shattering shriek of excitement and rushed forward to hug Bulma, only Yamcha and Tien hung back to glare at Vegeta as he strutted down out the door of the ship, completely aware of his aura of coolness.

He paused in front of Tien and looked him up and down. "Let me guess, they cancelled the square dancing competition, right?" Tien gasped; clearly hurt that Vegeta had insulted his outfit.

Yamcha, angry that his lover had been insulted, poked Vegeta in the chest. "You can't talk, I mean look at you! You're so small that when you get into fights all you can do is bite your opponent's ankles!"

"You know Yamcha if you pull your ears hard enough you might just be able to get your head out of your ass." Vegeta walked away from the spluttering Yamcha and nudged Bulma who was getting a hug from Goku. "Woman lets go inside…Woman!"

Bulma ignored him and hugged Chichi, Goku however sidled up to him and gave him a friendly punch on the shoulder. "Hows my favourite saiyan prince huh? Have any fun in space?" Goku winked at him.

* * *

_You come on like a drug_

_I just can't get enough_

_I'm like an addict coming at you for a little more_

_And there's so much at stake_

_I can't afford to waste_

_I've never needed anybody like this before_

* * *

Vegeta blushed, somehow that clown Kakarot knew! He clenched his teeth and tried to play it cool as Goku gave him a sly knowing look and playfully punched him on the shoulder.

"I bet you must have spent all day long _pounding _your aggression out, huh? I mean what with Bulma being there and all you must have been going wild." Goku grinned wider.

"Yeah sure, I spent all day training." Vegeta looked at Goku's sneaky knowing grin and, just for a moment, gave him a sneaky knowing grin in return. "It was nothing but rigorous exercise for me!"

* * *

_You are a secret_

_A new possession_

_I like to keep you guessing_

* * *

Yamcha flounced up to Bulma and tried to hug her. "Bulma I missed you!" He tried unsuccessfully to get a smile out of Bulma, but the blue haired woman was having none of it. She dodged his embrace and whirled to say something nasty to him...but before Bulma could reply Vegeta's fist connected with Yamcha's face and sent the ex-bandit sailing into the side of capsule corp.

"Vegeta!" Bulma scolded. "You said you wouldn't fight with him!"

Vegeta shrugged and grinned as Tien hurried over to his fallen love. "He pissed me off."

Bulma laughed and hugged Vegeta, aware of the other Z gang members, with the exception of Goku and piccolo, watching her with their mouths hanging open as she hugged Vegeta and kissed him. This, no doubt, was the very last thing they expected to find Vegeta and Bulma doing after being forced into close quarters for six long months.

* * *

_You come on like a drug_

_I just can't get enough_

_I'm like an addict coming at you for a little more_

_And there's so much at stake_

_I can't afford to waste_

_I've never needed anybody like this before_

* * *

Vegeta wrapped his tail around her leg and hugged her back, enjoying the shock of the other Z warriors; well he'd give them the shock of their lives! "Bulma," He crooned. "I love you."

"I love you too my little love monkey from space!" Bulma kissed him again as one by one the other Z warriors dropped to the ground in shock and stayed there; slowing rocking back and forth with traumatised looks in their chibi eyes.

"You know what?" Vegeta picked Bulma up and carried her inside capsule corp. "I think we should do that again."

"Do what again?" Bulma asked as she started to make food. "Destroy our friend's minds by kissing in front of them?"

"Go into space again." Vegeta grinned wickedly. "After all I am going to go into heat every year now that I've taken a mate."

"Every year?" Bulma grinned even more wickedly then Vegeta. "I think an annual trip into space could be arranged, although we might have to miss it next year."

"Why's that?" Vegeta frowned.

"Because by that time were going to have a small baby saiyan running around." Bulma held her breath, unsure of Vegeta's reaction.

* * *

_When I'm not sure what I'm living for..._

_When I'm not sure what I'm looking for..._

* * *

"You're pregnant to me, huh?" Vegeta sat in the kitchen chair and preened. "I'll have to see if I can pop another kid out of you then."

"Vegeta!" Bulma laughed and hit him playfully. "You're such a bastard."

"Yeah but that's why you love me." Vegeta kissed Bulma and as he watched the other Z gang members wandering around outside in a state of shock. He knew that he'd made the right decision to marry the woman in space. They were perfect for each other and he never intended to let her go.

He loved her.

* * *

_When I'm not sure who I am_

_Temptation waits_

* * *

**THE END**

**A/N – It's over! Can you believe it? It's over! I can barely believe it! I must admit that the last two chapters need a liiiiittle bit of a rewrite just to make them a little more readable, but I like this fic. I like how OOC Vegeta and Bulma are. I like how silly it is. Silly can be fun!** **Please review!**


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